Monday, January 04, 2010

Worst first date ever

This was several years back when i was 18. It was the first gay date i had been on. Many would have actually heard this story and there are a few things i left out. This conversation was copied from msn:

Paul says:
ok so ive only just come out
and i had been on gaydar for about two months
talking to people on msn
my dating patterns are kind of weird
i go for long periods of time
where i wont date anyone
and then all of a sudden ill have 2 in the one weekend
sort of thing

Terry says:
Ah yea

Paul says:
ok there was this guy who was bugging me to meet up
and i finally caved
he lived in frankston
and i had never been to frankston before
and didnt particularly want to drive
so we made a date that would be just a movie on the friday
so i could catch a train there from uni
anyway as i said
i tend to get stints where i date
so i jumped in with both feet
and ended up with a date for saturday and one for sunday too
so date #1
i catch the train to frankston
get off at the stop he suggests
and i wait there
i ended up waiting 45 minutes before he finally turned up
he wasnt answering his mobile
and i had no other way of contacting him
so i just had to sit their at the train sation
he looked nothing like his photos
he was much more heavier in person
anyway we walked back over to his car
as i opened the passanger side door
what seemed like a weeks worth of maccas wrappers fell out onto the ground
the car was littered with them
we get in and we start driving
now again ive never been to frankston before
and i dont know if you have
but as we are driving along
the houses start to get less
until they are replaced by trees
and the road becomes gravel
we are out in the middle of no where
and the date was supposed to be a movie
through my window i can see an open ground mine
i think they just mine minerals
and the topic of conversation he decided to bring up was
"im not a murder or anything, but i bet i could dump a body down there and no one would find it"
not exactly the type of conversion you want to hear while in a strange persons car in the middle of no where
i grip the sides of the seats
and start thinking to myself what have i gotten into
the road eventually comes back and so does the houses
he says he needs to stop by his place first so he can pick up some money
i said fine, so we drive into his driveway, he gets out of the car and goes into the house
i sit in the car and wait
15 minutes goes by
and another car comes and parks behind up in the driveway
a dirty old ute
and out comes an equally dirty man walking up the driveway
he stops at my window and knocks
"ere iz he"
i point to the house
and inside he goes
the next 15 minutes all you can hear is yelling from inside the house
between the date and what i could only assume was his father
he eventually comes back out
and so does his father
the father backs out of the drive to let us out
and again we are off
he says that he is going to park at his work (pancake parlour) because its free
we get there and he says we have time so we should go in so he can check his shifts
i sit down at a table facing the kitchen
and off he goes into the kitchen
there he stays for 35 minutes
i only see him when he is standing in the door way of the kitchen
pointing me out to his friends
he comes back over and we go off to the movies
the movie was one of those "shoot em up" playstaton games that was made into a movie
like evil dead or something
i dont know whether you smoke
and ive asked a few friends who do about this
because i found it so weird
during the course of the movie which was only like an hour and half long
he left the cinemas 4 times to go smoke

Terry says:
Yea not cool
This sounds a fucked up date so far

Paul says:
its not over yet
anyway his one redeeming feature
was that he didnt want me to catch the train from frankston station
it was like 11:30 at night by this time
and he said he would drive me to the next station in
he ended up driving me like 5 stations in
to a station that he knew they had security on
which i thought was nice
he left i blocked him on msn and didnt return his messages
but there i am
at 11:30 on friday night
thinking to myself that this couldnt possibly be what every date is going to be like
and then shitting myself because i had two more lined up!
on the train ride home
there wasnt many people in our carrage
there was a guy probably 23/24 across the aiel from me
a couple further down
a lady who had fallen asleep with her head up against the window
and a hobo
who was walking back and forth
there was a fair few stops to get back to mine
during the course of the trip the hobo would walk past me and back again
until he ened up sitting next to the lady who was asleep
as i was leaving i got up to go the door which was nearest the sleeping lady
and as we pulled into the station i turn to see the hobo licking the ladies face
and you know what the horrible thing was
i thought to myself well my day could have been worse

Terry says:
That is the worst date story I have ever heard
Oh man that must of sucked

Paul says:
well i didnt want to go again
but i already made plans
and i hate cancelling
anyway the second guy was possibly one of the best dates ive ever been on
and i tried to replicate it with the guy on the third date
but couldnt
eneded up dating guy #2 for 8 months


This was pre-facebook and the reason i am posting it here is because i have recently tracked down this person!

2 Misguided mentions... :

  1. Luke Davidson said...

    LOL! Ah, I've never had a date that bad, thank god! After that guy, any other date would seem amazing. (Although I have had two guys sing to me, which is every bit as awkward and uncomfortable as you'd imagine!)

  2. ck. said...

    lol Terry is very patient reading the entire story and only commenting once in the middle.