New years resolution

Once again we are rapidly approaching the end of the year, a time of reflection.

Reflection upon time gone by and of past resolutions that have like so many fallen to the waist side. Admittedly I tend not to make resolutions, knowing full well that I shall never fulfil them. It is always easier to give up before we begin. But this year I have decided things are going to be different.

Well not that much different, baby steps is key. But it is a step in the right direction none the less. I have never been into the whole ‘self-bettering’ thing, mainly because I’m quite happy with who I am. I know my flaws and tendencies and think it would be rather hard to change them now, tis sad that I'm already set in my ways at such a young age.

So you ask, what could the gospel Paul possibly want to change as part of his new years resolution? Well its not to be more out going, and I'm sorry to say its not to blog more. Its not to get in shape and its not to drink less. Its not to be more open and sadly its not to try new things. I think that just about covers most of the cliches, except of course the one I'm planning on committing to :).

My main problem is effort, i tend let things pass me by because I'm unwilling to exert anything above the normal level. This year i have tried going out of my way, and have been very pleased with the results. A few of my friendships have grown a lot stronger and the enjoyment i derive from them far outweighs what effort i've had to go through. All the new places, people and experiences i've gone out of my way to meet or try has made this one of the happiest years of my life.

So my resolution, is to be willing to exert at least the same amount of effort i have this year. Knowing full well how hard it is to stick to a resolution i am making it attainable.

Hope all whom that read this has a happy and safe new year.

Till next we meet,
Paul

On the second part of christmas

On the second part of Christmas the fishers brought to me:
- two very scared german exchange students

The reason why the exchange students were scared (apart from having to live with the fishers...) was my brother turned up and started voicing is anger, so that was fun for me :)

The mother had been bitten by a dog a few days before, she was telling the story and my father had to stop me from laughing out loud. Then they started talking about how they have to see their extended family tomorrow for lunch, and how much they can't stand the freaks... Talk about calling the kettle black..

Then Kate, Steven (right spelling) and the germans left, after which the mother started talking about sending Kate away somewhere because she has anorexia :)

Other things i don't want to elaborate on:
- There was a very embarrassing incident with my father
- Told the fishers the thing i let slip at the other Christmas lunch
- Forgot the name of the little one (Eliza)

It s finally over.... until next year

Till next we meet,
Paul

On the first part of chirstmas

On the first part of Christmas my grandma said to me:
- "We need to ship off all those dam Indians, we have enough taxi drivers as it is"
- "The chinks are multiplying"
- "Those fags that live down the street.." (i think she was saying they were shifty or something, i was trying not to pay attention)

There were more but i forgot them as a result of the other events that happened.
For one i inadvertently let slip something i didn't want to, but doesn't really matter and two i backed my brothers car into a tree.. So he went off tap screaming and cracking a fit, threatening my life and all :)

All this before meeting the fishers :)

You gotta love the holidays: a special shout out to Mr Mac, what strength i have left i give to you in this your more deserving time of need.

Till the next part is over,
Paul

Christmas with the Fishers

The mere thought of it sends bile to my tongue, hours of insufferable torment spent with beings that should never have been allowed to step foot on this earth. You are soon to learn that I don’t particularly like a certain section of my family, unfortunately for me you can’t choose your family so I’m stuck with them. I’m not too sure whether I’m going to be able to articulate the server dysfunction they as a collective group hold, but will endeavour none the less.

Every family has its kooks, so let me introduce you to mine. ‘The fishers’ – a rag tag bunch of social misfits connected to us through my mother. On last count I believe there were 6… although I’m sure I always miss one. They are the loudest most obnoxious people you will hopefully never meet. You know the kind; the ones in the restaurant that your mother will sigh at and say ‘just eat your food and ignore them’ whilst glaring at them every once in a while to show her distain.

The mother – A know all nurse who happens to have an opinion on anything and everything, even if she has been explicitly told to stay out of it. She tends to spend most of the Christmas evening in my mothers room, after being overpowered by a migraine. Although if I had children like that I suppose I would be bed ridden too. A control freak who can’t control her kids, go figure.

The father – One of those people that somehow constantly look grotty no matter what they are wearing; the kind of person that if you saw him on the street tying his shoes, you couldn’t help but drop some money. He is the most offensive person to eat with (well the whole of his family has acquired these traits, but he remains the worst). My mother would be cooking for about 20 people (yeah I know shocking), and silly enough for her she tried to cut down on the amount of effort she needed to go through with serving so she created a buffet. I think your starting to see the picture… I nearly lost a finger at the hands of that man.

Kate – (child one, 21) the eldest of the bunch, hmm the best way I can describe her is ‘a snobby little bitch with no money’. Just think the ‘Simple Life’ except the nightmare isn’t ending for her :) because the season is never over - it might seem cruel to an observer that I take pleasure in her misery, but believe me this is the only pleasure I derive from this family.

Steven – (child two, 20) just goes to show how much I like this one, I don’t even know if he spells it Steven or Stephen… His one of those giant bruits who doesn’t know his own strength, which is always great when they have a brain the size of a pee. Trust me his a complete space case, and will more than likely end up as a professional bouncer, as long as he doesn’t asphyxiate attempting to think.

Claire – (child three, 18) the poster child for contraception. God has made this one irregularly plump, and for good reason too. It has an acidic tongue that, like its mothers, never seems to stop wagging. I’ve been so close to slapping the shit out of it because of the vicious little things it says to its mother.

The other one – (child four, will fill in the name when I remember, 16ish) devils spurn! As childish as they get, one of those kids who always has to get their way, and if they don’t then they crack a fit. Have you ever seen a sixteen year old rolling around on the ground because she wants to leave? I can’t wait until the real world hits her and she grows up.

As I thought, I didn’t do them justice, mainly because I try to suppress all interaction I am forced to make with them. Perhaps ill have some more to add after Christmas.

Marry Christmas indeed

Till next we meet,
Paul

The old lady shuffle

No no this isn’t going to be a post about my inability to dance, but rather my need of quick reflexes in the face of danger. It’s about that time of year again, Christmas… Joyful for some, yet rather inconvenient for others.

Don’t get me wrong I love the holidays, I don’t even mind the commercialism of it all. I mean money makes the world go around and Christmas is one of the biggest excuses for it. The thing I fear about this time of the year is Christmas parties.

My mother tends to host a multitude of parties for separate sects; old friends, gym friends, work friends ect.. And for some god forsaken reason she ‘HAS’ to have all of them here! I’m not too sure what you would consider fun, but believe me 20 or so old ladies placed in one setting with alcohol provided by a woman who sinks a bottle of white a night isn’t exactly an enjoyable experience. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the cackling, no amount of training can prepare you for that glass shattering noise that always seems to come when alcohol is added.

In the past I’ve been stupid enough to suffer through it, thinking some day I would build up a tolerance. But my efforts have been in vain, there effects are still as potent as ever making that evolutionary step that much more elusive. Luckily this year I have given myself enough time to evade two of these Christmas parties without incident or the use of my patented ‘old lady shuffle’. Other times I have not been so lucky.

The ‘old lady shuffle’ consists of me exiting the building with as minimal contact with the decrepit vermin, I mean my mothers friends, as possible. Tricks such as carrying things outside and simply not returning are genuinely key when surprised with such events. I say ‘surprised’ because mother has become sadistic, intentionally not telling me that one will soon be in progress, just to see me squirm.

But these are nothing in comparison with ‘the family Christmas get together’, for one I’m unable to leave… (a latter post), I shall leave you with a classic line taken from one of my ‘old lady shuffle’ experiences.

“I have to umm… go over there now”

Till next we meet,
Paul

No Bang - the birth of a catchphrase

If television has taught us one thing it's that individuals with cleaver catchphrases tend to stay around for more seasons, as long as the rest of the show isn't complete tripe. Luckily enough this has nothing to do with whats going on.

I've always wanted to know how social phrases come to be, i mean who came up with using the word 'cool' as a substitute for good or ok? And how did it become so prolifically used? Well today you are witnessing history in the making, i am about to unleash my own stylings upon the catchphrase world. I'm not attempting to make a big deal about it, simply trying to avoid or rather sidestep some of the weirdness no doubt im going to encounter when it gets used for the first couple of times; explaining its meaning and the origin of its creation to every individual i happen to use it on.

Its conception was happened upon when Sarah Bell (a very nice, very talkative individual) caught the tailings of a convocation about me not going to 'Bang', a club that it seems i've been going to every week for quite some time. Hence when i said "no bang" she wouldn't have been able to understand the reference. She however took it a slightly different way, meaning no good, thus "No Bang" was established.

No Bang - 1. refers to a build up where the ending is not as dramatic as the hype suggested. 2. refers to something which is simply no good, lacking all the bells and whistles. 3. refers to something that would be inappropriate to be celebrated with fireworks or party poppers.

This is something i assume will die off soon, but i like it, so your going to have to suffer through it for a good few weeks to come.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Intolerable intolerance

I'd like to say when the elder generation dies off the worst of our current racist society will be over, but hate and ignorance tends to breed hate, sullying the water so this notion is simply another fairy tail the offended tell themselves.

The conceptions of our fathers are only distinguished from our own by choice. Change needs a catalyst else the course remains steady. Some may believe that it is currently socially unacceptable to belittle another race, unfortunately theory is not always what prevails in practice and they would be very mistaken in this assumption.

We are the youth of the nation with the means to stamp out such trivial ideologies, yet remain powerless in our current divided state. War once brought the youths voices together echoing their contempt throughout the land. Our generation has faced its wars, yet we as a whole remained silent.

Our silence is deafening, society has desensitised us. Thus i fear there is nothing that can awaken our outrage. As long as intolerance is tolerated, as long as injustice is ignored, the plights of the nameless shall go unheard.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Wii personal update

WARNING: The following blog may contain offensive material and has been proven in cases to lead the reader to become very jealous.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have purchased a Wii.

(Pauses for gasps and the shock of it all to settle in)

Are wii composed? Good then lets continue. I have been thinking about purchasing a “Wii” since Nintendo released the original proposed specs and capabilities for the revolution. That was until they offended the world by deciding to change the name to the ‘Wii’. Initially I despised the name, enough to blog about it:

“Wii can only hope: (29 April 2006 2:41 PM)

Dam Nintendo has screwed itself again..... As if our once beloved gaming system had not made enough bad choices (gamecube, need i say more). It’s like they have given up the race completely between Xbox and Playstation. Yes there new "revolutionary" system had specs and games lined up that would make any gaming enthusiast drool, everything seemed right in the world again. But then at the 12 hour Nintendo announces they have decided to change the name of the new system to...."Wii".

WHAT THE?

The childish humour must just be lost on me, Wii??? It seems the company has decided after investing an inconceivable amount into the development of this system and the restoration of its former glory, that it is no longer interested in making money. I mean seriously who ever came up with this bright idea should be shot at least twice for good measure.

Wii can only hope that this is some sort of messed up dream, and by E3 the creators will have come to their senses.”

But as time went by the name simply grew on me! So when the release came on the 7^th of December I started to seriously consider purchasing this console.

On the 9^th of December I was placed in a fight or flight situation when faced with hundreds of signs in what seemed like almost every shop advertising the console. I scam to my temptations and splurged, carelessly purchasing games and accessories. I never really was a strong person :) (Pun not intended)

And yet even after the serious beating my back account took I am still happy. The Wii is amazing, and it’s going to change the way we think of gaming! No longer will our youths become fat and lazy while sitting in front of the TV for hours playing games. The interaction is that intense that after a few rounds of boxing on ‘Wii sports’ I was sweaty and exhorted!

Of course the main reason why anyone would purchase a Wii is simply for Zelda, and yes yes it too has so far live up to the hype.

The controls are ingenious, no longer is game play and interaction confined to the standard controller. And the way they have allowed for extra peripherals to be added ensures they will be on the cutting edge of interactive experimentation.

(There isn't really an appropriate way to do this so: Alex, there your mentioned!)

Till next wii meet,
Paul

Aliens exist?

Ah so it has come to this, the gospel must inform the sheep once again about the sad facts of life. Destroying the myths we all know are false and hopefully offending many demographics along the way.

I’ve always wondered who came up with that immortal image that we initially associate with an alien; Big black eyes positioned on an oversized cranium with thinned out features and a slender mouth. Silly boy forgot to copy write, and is now out millions as a result (I would have loved him to demand money from Spielberg for the use of ET). I assume it was a man because it was the 40’s when women where not classified as people.

I’ve read about the Roswell incident and the propaganda surrounding it. About the ‘lies’ we have been told and the conspiracies created as ‘the true’ alternative. See dale, if you had these people’s imaginations you would have written at least ONE book by now - “Hows that novel you’ve been working on?”

I love the religions that are preparing for their coming (and I don’t just mean Scientology; side note I have read L. Ron Hubbard’s dianetics, not that interesting… I liked battlefield earth better, why haven’t they made that one into a religion yet? It’s just not the same as being made into a movie), although to be fair I do know of a few other religions waiting for a return of a certain individual… 2006 years after his original birth.. hmm is he still coming?

Why do aliens always abduct some redneck hick? Why don’t you ever hear about normal people with (real) college degrees getting abducted? And don’t throw that shit at me saying “they only do that because this way people won’t believe they exist, they are protecting themselves” what are they afraid of, we might suspect they have weapons of mass destruction? – My rebuttal to people who use this argument: ‘Star Trek isn’t real get over it’.

People have an inept need to believe in things, they are afraid that life has no real meaning and by clinging onto notions such as ‘aliens’ allows them to cope.

Ghost writing is hard!



Till next we meet,
Paul

Road Runner Ruined

Well i havent posted for a while, and its far too hot to come up with an appropriate topic now so this is going to have to be short and sweet. And i don't mean like Dakota Fanning, or do i...

I have briefly discussed the sudden absense of anvils with a very unimaginative individual (lucky for him he doesn't want to become a writer). Im currently wondering where they have all disappeared to? I mean there used to be at least one blacksmith in every village, each would have had atleaast one anvil for operation, so where could so many of them go. I suppose it is possible the acme corporation may have done a recall but still, mass amounts of steel that were created with the intention that they couldn't be melted down just disappearing...

Something to ponder till some real content appears here.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Conditioning

I thought it might be appropriate for my gospels to include some proficies, i mean what kinda prophet would i be if i wasn't telling people how to live their lives? So this is my first!

- Your society shall condemn itself by erroneously accepting what should never be.

I have suggested in the past that people tend to go out of their way to ignore the strange. And to an extent i still hold strong to this although have conceded the severity has not reached the bounds of the negative spectrum (the valid rebuttal was quite persuasive).

Over time we have been 'conditioned'. Trained by society on how to act, react, perceive and judge. We have absorbed its ethics and morals and have accepted them as norms. To fit into our society one must go through a thought process, and just like ridding a bike, after a while you no longer consciously thing about it, but the process still remains. We evaluate a situation, apply both our set of values and morals and that of society. We then conclude with what is perceived as an appropriate course of action. The question that comes from this (I know you knew it was coming!) is, to what extent do they have on the creation of our own values?

It is often said that one is defined by the choices they make, but if an outcome is completely dependent upon a process, is the choice theirs to make? (I will probably discuss the notion of fate VS self fulfilling prophecies in a latter post)

************************************************************************************
Simply here to keep the regulars happy
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As the SAW trilogy so eloquently stipulates:
What would you do when faced with life or pain? Could you play the game?

Till next we meet,
Paul

Loss of innocence

I morn for the loss of simpler times, of an idealism were things were as clear cut as good and evil. When our eyes where closed to the cruelty of this world, and our minds only loosely focused on the happenings of the day. I have grown before my time, my youth stolen and discarded upon the floor, forced from my grip by the events of my past.

I often reflect upon my time before cynicism, before life was complicated, when a consequence was merely a word thrown around defying its very definition. We are forced to grow up too early these days. Imparting upon children the truths of humanity at younger and younger ages diminishes the time they have to develop a sense of self. Why can’t a child simply remain a child? Understandably wisdom does not come with age, but rather with an individual’s ability to separate themselves from their circumstance and objectively evaluate the situation. Still, there are things that can wait for years to pass.

The world has many faces, each one made by man and influenced by money, greed and power. I’m not saying that one should be oblivious to the sins on this world, but we should allow for a greater gestation period before exposing our youths and destroying the wonder of innocence.

The loss of innocence is something we must all go through, it is a right of passage where the blinkers of romantic ideals are removed and replaced with a cold sense of reality. Glorifications are realised, and disappointment shall always ensue. But the age at which this process takes place should not be at the time of babes.

Discovery is not always what it seems.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Robert Frost: One of the greats

Poems by my favorite poet:

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

For more about Robert Frost click here.

Random facts of time gone by:

Random facts of October: In no particular order...

- Bill Gates' house was designed using a Macintosh computer.

- Santas image was created by Coke.

- Business.com is currently the most expensive domain name sold for $7.5 million.

- The first condoms were made of linen.

- A peanut is not a nut. It is a legume.

- Karate actually originated in India, but was developed further in China.

- More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

- More than 6,000 people with pillow-related injuries check into U.S. emergency rooms every year!

- Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life.

- The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.

- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

- President George W. Bush and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner are cousins!

- The are six fictional characters that have stars on Hollywood's 'Walk of Fame'. Although half the others are just as fake...

- Gloucestershire airport in England used to blast Tina Turner songs on the runways to scare birds away. They had to stop because too many gay employees were making requests.

- TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

If not me, then who? If not now, then when?

I was never one to make a stand. Sure I have strong opinions, but never enough outrage to liberally advocate a cause. Which is a shame because I feel I should believe in something. There has to be a message that I would feel compelled to voice, I am just yet to find it.

There are many groups at university I could join, but don’t simply because all they basically do is flap their chins. Nothing ever changes, things continue because the majority accepts it. And I don’t see how participating in some activist group activities that are only done to create an illusion of control for them, could really help the plights of others. Don’t get me wrong, when the activities are direct contact (eg: physically going and helping individuals on the streets, or giving back to the community) I can see the purpose. But rallies and discussion groups can only ever achieve very little, preaching to the converted just seems like an irrational waste of time. Obviously there point is to show strength of numbers, but this is irrelevant if the group in question holds no influential power.

I still hold faith in the system, it is not perfect, but is a system none the less. It is constantly changing and adapting based upon societies standards, and the sooner we condemn actions or practices the sooner the system catches up.

So here I am, a man without a cause.

To love and loose,

To live a loss,

To come to ones demise.

To make a stand,

To turn away,

The actions no surprise.

Till next we meet,
Paul

The verdict is in: (in retrospect to Blatant Misconceptions)

I would like to say that I don’t judge people, but that would be a lie. I am constantly judging without self constraint. We all do it, whether subconsciously or deliberately; we analyse, process and create a verdict within moments of the catalyst.

I’m a much worse offender than most, ill go out of my way to judge people and tend to let them know about it. Some people have hobbies, but I was never into tennis.

So the good thing is I have judged you all, like god I have evaluated your worthiness and labelled you appropriately. My judgements can be cruel but are never off the mark, and when my perceptive mirror is reflected upon myself I’m sure you would not be surprised with how truthful my evaluations are.

I considered listing how I perceive myself, but thought better of it, wouldn’t want to influence your observations.

The world is a fish tank.



Till next we meet,
Paul

Blatant Misconceptions:

How many times has your actions been misconstrued because someone has read too much into them?

I am constantly being misunderstood; I’m not a very complex creature. In fact it wouldn’t take much to summate me; a few poignant points about my numerous fascist and insurmountable flaws and where done.

There isn’t always an underlining reason for an action to take place, nor in some cases any reasoning what so ever. So why can’t people just accept things at face value?

Admittedly there are cases where I am acting with a slightly hidden agenda, not falsifying my intentions simply not divulging the entirety of my intent. This is why I get into trouble, simply because I have these moments doesn’t mean this is how I constantly act.

I will never tell you everything.



Till next we meet,
Paul

The night of the terrible two

I thought you may wish to know about how serious my condition has gotten...

Ok fair enough I normally I’m pretty lazy with assignments but they seem to get done within the time limit pretty easily. This was of course before the night of the terrible two..

As I’ve alluded to in past posts I’m at uni doing a double degree involving information systems. The two IS units I do are programming (java) and database, which I’m pretty good at.

Both of these units had an assignment due last Friday, and I’m sure we had two weeks to do both, so logically I should have started them then. But I wasn’t going to let logic get in the way of things so I left them for a while. In the mean time I had to do another assignment for management which I despised, which took the majority of my concentration.

Long story short it’s Wednesday night and I realise I haven’t done either of them, so offcourse I tell myself that ill set tomorrow to do them both. I get to uni at 10am on Thursday, set myself up in a lab and start to procrastinate. Newayz its 6pm, programming is finished but I still have database to do. So time goes on… (btw the students from my whole course are there working on these assignments, apparently my condition is contagious).

Despite some major problems like the database server being down because too many people kept trying to access it, I got through. Although by this time is 12:30pm on Friday..

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for Paul, he turns around and tells you that then he needed to go to work from 3-9:30…

NEVER AGAIN!!! (But I can’t promise)

Living life in another skin

I often catch myself changing my personality to an extent when interacting with different sets of people. It isn’t much deviation, but when multiple sets are being interacted with simultaneously I believe both them and I can see the differences.

I believe my personality has a basis, and when I interact with others different attributes and characteristics are added on. This can be explained by my comfort levels and what I perceive maybe too much for others. I am never fake, just different.

This can relate to hiding information, but also to the way in which you connect with each group. I don’t believe (for me personally) there is any dependence upon how dominate the other personalities are, simply because of the fact that I’m not able to conclusively state whether I increase or minimise my outgoingness as a result (other mitigating factors must play a crucial role).

Soon I shall make a conscious decision to express the whole me to every group, yet I don’t know how such an act will be performed considering my inability to truly recognise who I really am.

Who am I, if not me?

Till next we meet,

Paul

What’s logic got to do with it!

There are certain situations/events in life where logic is simply thrown out the window. Not that I rely on logic for stability, but it is nice when you can see a basis for reasoning. Now these events are normally on a whim and will usually eventuate, if at all, with very minimal consequences in relation to the course of progression of your life. Yet still on reflection, feelings of stupidity seem just as painful as when first experienced.

There are a lot of different factors that effect ones logic; emotions, situations, people and to an extent life itself. There sadly is no remote control to ‘reverse’ such events and so we must accept/suppress these memories and move on.

I have many events that I mortally regret, these are common knowledge and became a great pass time for a section of my friends to bring up during one of there favourite games “Hey Paul, remember that time….”

- Softball

- Leep Frog

- Chair isn’t there

- 3D

- Balls (interesting choice of word; just imagine a montage of events where sport balls would hit me in the face, over and over and over again)

- ect…

Long story short, my high school life was merely a serious of unfortunate events, separated briefly by very little education. Which although topical and entertaining to others, has led me to the drink on more than one occasion.

Question: (Off the topic, but on the subject)

What’s the point of logic if it’s not logical?

Some people hold onto their notions of logic even when they know it’s no longer true. Just because they have had that concept for an extended period of time doesn’t give validity to its argument. – This person knows who they are and should change their point of view.

Till next we meet,

Paul

Word of Mouth

Well I’m not all that surprised it has taken me a while to get back to you, the neglect is mainly caused by the incomprehensible amount of assignments that I just happened to put off for far too long ~ I didn’t get extensions even after I explained my condition (Lazieitis), stupid lectures! I should have just said I was an alcoholic.

"Have you heard...."

Have you ever really considered how powerful ‘word of mouth’ really is?

I’m sure we all remember the day Steve Irwin died; mainly because their not letting us forget (who they are is not important, for the moment…). Well I was in a lecture, and simultaneously around me five people got messages explaining what had happened (I felt sad I didn’t get one so my friend next to me forwarded it on, she is so nice lol).

This got me thinking, what sort of topics causes such an excessive use of the ‘word of mouth’? What would make YOU exert effort to tell another individual?

Till next we meet,

Paul

Food

Just a quick question:

Why do we change the names of animals when they are prepared for consumption?

Cow = Beef
Pig = Pork
Sheep = Lamb

And why is chicken still 'chicken'? (or are they hens)

Prefect application due

(Below is an extraction of what was sent to my principle when requesting the position of prefect, written in the year 2004)

Why I would like to become a prefect:

When I first contemplated about becoming a prefect I asked myself, what does the term prefect mean to me? I see a perfect as a passionate reliable individual who has leadership qualities, but also as a person who is responsible and in control. They must present themselves in a manner befitting their position and be able to persuade others to do the same. They must be approachable yet be able to command the respect of their peers. They must be meticulous in their actions and have strength and faith in themselves. But most all they have to have a dedicated desire to excel in everything they do. Once realizing this I had a look in the mirror. I imagined myself as a prefect and began to see these qualities in me. I see myself as the sort of person to which people respond well. I have a calm caring nature yet am able to control a situation with demanding authority.

I see becoming a prefect as a way of proving myself to not only my peers but also my teachers. I furthermore see this as a great opportunity to give back to the school for which I have taken so much. I wish to become a role model to the younger generations, a pinnacle to which they can aspire. I believe that becoming a prefect will not only help me grow as a leader but also as an individual. I thrive in stressful situations and acknowledge that compounded on the regular stresses of year twelve I will gain a multitude more as a result of being a prefect. I believe that I am ready to take on the extra reasonability’s of being a prefect and I hope that you will believe so too.

(There is more but it relates to my outside activities and where I wanted to go after high school)

What a crock of shit! The only reason I wanted to become a prefect was so I could get the gold braiding around my blazer (the irony is not lost on me). Hmm and I think I read the word ‘prefect’ too many times, although I may have just been trying to create a greater association between the word and myself…

I’d like to think I have some of these above mentioned qualities, although there are a choice few that would need to be added (I’m sure your thinking of some now). In case you were wondering I did become a prefect, house captain in fact. I went on to win the cup with my egotistical sidekick (me and Michelle what a team).

Till next we meet,

Paul

Successful regret

Throughout our lives we have constantly been told that:
You need to get good grades to get a good enter,
You need a good enter to get into a good course,
You need a good course to get a good job,
You need a good job to have a good life,

And if at any point in this process you stuff up your going to die poor and lonely :(.

Understandably this is a very simplistic view upon the measurement of success, yet this is exactly what is driven into our heads all throughout high school. Although I logically understand that this is not the correct way to view the situation, I have based my life decisions upon this very conception. For without this conception, my life would have even less of a tangible direction.

As some of you may know I made the decision to commit myself to 4.5 year of study to complete a double degree in both business and information systems. This decision was made out of fear, petrified that a single degree would limit my options I opted for as broad a field as I could possibly make. Apart from the loss of an extra year and a half I do not regret this decision, nor the appropriateness of its formation. But on reflection it started to make me think about how many regrets I really have.

A regret is a horrible thing to hold, but inevitable none the less. We are constantly making decisions that can never be fully informed, mainly because life is not predictable. There are many mitigating factors that will effect any given decision that we make simply because of unforeseeable circumstances. The aim is to minimise your regrets and be mindful that there are real consequences to all our actions.

Life is the ultimate game, except its not as simple as rolling some dice. No one is ever prepared for it, and each time it’s played is never quite the same. The game can be deceptive, you can always tell when your winning, but never when your about to hit a wrong turn. The pieces are constantly moving so the game must go on, whether you wish to play or not. So take a deep breath and cross your fingers, because it’s your move.

A life with regret, is a regretful life

Till next we meet,
Paul

Life to me

To live the life that others live,
To live my life a lie.
To live my life the way I live,
I live my life to die.

Like many adolescents life has been cruel, its perverted jokes and intolerable vindictiveness has pummelled my emotion psyche to the point where I was no longer strong enough to keep it at bay. Yet I should not weep for me. My story is nothing in comparison with that of the unheard plights of others.

Mass genocide of entire races still continues across the world, famine and disease ravage all corners of the earth, and still I felt sorry for me. Why?

Hindsight is always 20/20, but at that point in my life I couldn’t put what I was going through into perspective. It always felt like no one else would understand, as if my pain, and by association story, was unique. But through life I have grown and become wiser as a result.

I don’t fear death, but I do fear dying (clarification: dying is a process to which death is the conclusion. Pain is not involved in death it is simply the release). It’s this fear that keeps us alive, fear that keeps us sane.

Fear controls a lot of things; it limits our experiences by diminishing our faith within ourselves. This reduction in self ability festers, breading doubt, which tends to seep into other aspects of our lives. Fear is the reason why i originally felt this way about myself. The future is a scary prospect; its uncertainty is for lack of a better word unsettling. The scariest thing of all, is the inability to see yourself within a future. Life without a tangible purpose becomes meaningless, but the lack of purpose is not the catalyst, merely an outcome from a larger problem.

For now that’s all I wish for you to know.

Till next we meet,

Paul

Objective view

I have had a debate recently whether a view could ever be objective, which of course it obviously can’t because no matter how many facts it is based upon it is still merely a perception biased by the viewer. But it got me thinking about the perceptions we have of others, and how well we really know people.

Humans are an amusing creature, we thrive on interaction and because of this we take certain measures to make sure our interaction with others continues. These measures often include time sacrificing tasks and withholding information.

People withhold information for many reasons, all of which eventually are designed to benefit them or the person with whom they are withholding the information. I am not classifying this as a bad thing; I myself do not divulge everything to all, but I am asking, do we withhold this information to create a perception we consciously desire or is it merely a copping mechanism as not to harm ourselves or others?

There are many things I do not wish to talk about, whether enforced by society’s standards or simply my unwillingness to open up. I myself have too many barriers, I defend my feelings with the use of sarcasm, yet this has not always been. It is something I have adapted to my personality which has now become its main focal point. I’m not sure whether I like this, it makes me seem unapproachable, yet at the time I believe that’s what its desired effect was.

One of my friends believes I analyse people too much, which I admittedly do, but not simply to evaluate whether an individual is worthy of my time, I have an inept desire to understand why they do the things they do and what catalysts initiate these things. By understanding to a certain extent I am able to foresee or extrapolate a basis for how they would react in other situations.

Secrets will always be kept, truths hidden and agendas disguised. This will never change, yet with all this hidden information and our current inabilities to detect how much is being withheld I ask you, how well can you ever really know a person?



Till next we meet,
Paul

Over-abused

There are many things I hate in this world: escalators that don’t move, stupid people with no opinions, ignorant people with opinions ect… But went it comes to the over-abuse of words I just can’t stand it...

There are certain words that are thrown around too much to the point where they have become to lose their meaning. I reference these words as the big three (there are others but these are the main offenders and are the most likely ones you will run into):

1. Love

A touchy subject where anyone is involved. I believe love is an emotion that describes a euphoric state of being as a result from an external influence; it should only ever be said when meant and never to be applied to articles of clothing. Too many people associate the word love with their relationships because they feel it gives meaning to its existence and continuation. Love is allusive but most definitely real, using it with inappropriate referencing diminishes the effect that true love holds and tarnishes the validity of the current relationship.

2. Promise

The mere mention of the word makes me shiver, two syllables that holds enough power to bring a nation to its knees. The word promise has shifted from its original intention, once it meant something, now I’m not so sure. Broken promises scatter my life, they are a constant inevitability which I am afraid will never cease. An appeal to those of you who are reading, life is too short to promise the world.

3. Cute

I tire quickly of this word, like the others it has been abused to the point where its meaning has been stripped away, except it’s nearly at the point where it is soon to be abandoned. Paris Hilton is trying to replace it with ‘hot’ but its not going to happen you skanky cesspool.

The big three as told by me:

WARNING: ONLY USE IN MODERATION

Till next we meet,

Paul

Laziness and dreams

I apologise for the original post, it was not one of my concoctions. A rude little boy whom will get his comeuppance very very soon has forced the responsibility of entertaining the masses upon me. Simply another duty I shall take in my stride.

I've decided to make my first (real) blog about my inability to complete things so you will have a deeper understanding of why it may take an extraordinary amount of time for new material to be posted (that’s Paul for you always thinking of others… lol by the way my name is Paul, now that that mystery is over with Nancy Drew can we continue with the current story). There was a prime example of my inability to keep on track, and my blatant disregard for a conceptual progression of thought.

It has always been this way, to the point where I’m contemplating whether I should finish this current blog. I know I’m not alone though, across our vast world there are others plagued by my dreaded disease ‘lazieitis’.

Lazieitis ~ a ravenous disease that plagues upon the effort of the willing, incapacitating there ability to perform a function for an extended period of time. Symptoms include: crankiness, loss of motor skills and mild rectal irritation

I’m astonished we haven’t formed a support group…

But there is hope for us all, a shining glimmer of light has broken forth from our depths of gloom, exceeding expectation as he rides a star to which we should all aspire. Abandoning reason and notions of self inadequacies his strength and courage of conviction to accomplish his dreams is something I shall always envy.

Mmm I kind of figured this would happen I’m finishing the post without really talking about what I initially wanted to… namely me. I guess there will be plenty of time for that later.

Till next we meet,

Paul

Hooray

Exciting news! I'm starting my own blog! It will be full of insight and most likely many sarcastic comments/reviews on the things that (unfortunately for them) happen to come across my path.

This is your new must-read blog!

That is all *big brother voice*



Paul.