The Gospels According To Paul

Pancakes

2010-07-05T14:24:00.002+10:00

Didn't quite turn out the way i wanted them, but they look good enough yeah.

My 11th Birthday

2010-07-01T13:23:00.001+10:00

I watched the clock tick slowly upon my wall. Each passing moment seemed to take longer than the last. Until finally the clock struck midnight, and I was officially 11 years old.

Normally this age is considered inconsequential, but not to me. Finally my moment had come. I spent the rest of the day sitting at my bedroom window, watching the world pass by the front of our house.

Our house was on an ordinary street, in an ordinary town, of an ordinary city. And yet today, for me, that would all change.

I was unable to keep still for long, as i could hardly contain my excitement. To keep busy I kept pacing back and forth, not knowing exactly what to expect.

The sun peaked and fell and yet still nothing had happened. Surely there must be something wrong.

A week past and still no news.

The people at the post office were no help when i tried to explain my situation.

Another week, and i gave up hope.

My heart fell as the sudden realisation swept over me. That i in fact was not a wizard.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Reprise: I am a university drop out

2010-01-24T16:51:00.012+11:00

The following is the tale of one man's struggle against a faceless institution and his desperate attempt to simply be heard.

This story picks up where the previous post left off. The situation was that I had read an email from monash university stating i had missed the cut off date for re-enrolment and i was waiting for the university to open back up so i could sort out what was an obvious mistake.

On January 5th I went to the business faculties student services desk. I explained how i received the email, i remembered enrolling and that there must have been some sort of mistake. The lady at the desk said she needs to confer with someone so she picked up the phone and made a call. She then turned to me and said "unfortunately you have been excluded from your course and you will have to come back next year". In utter shock i almost laughed at the notion and said "no there has to be something i can do". She repeated her statement, which once again sounded ludicrous. I then said "no, you are not listening to me. There has to be something i can do. Who was on the phone? Can i please speak with them". I persisted in this manner until eventually this person came out to see me. This person, a bitchy little woman with a blonde pony tail that was obviously far too tight, comes out in and in a very defensive tone and said "no you can't do anything you will have to apply through vtac next year". The sympathy level was zero and when i continued asking questions about other options like midyear intake and grievance processes she obviously became even more agitated only responding with the one word answer of "no".

Seeing that i was getting nowhere and that my feelings were welling up i left the building. My shock turned to sorrow as i come to terms with this information. Blubbering on the phone i call my mother and chris from my car. Dismayed at what had happened i sat there for quite some time before i felt able to drive.

After i got home i attempted to contact Des Casey who was my course coordinator. Unfortunately he is on leave until the 18th of January, his automated email response said to contact Martin Atchison. I was not able to make contact with Martin.

I then contacted Dr Campbell Wilson and Chris Gonsalvez who are both the associate head of IT. They have tried to help me on my behalf, but are unable to help as my course is administered by the Faculty of Business and Economics. My attempts to contact someone of authority in the business faculty where met with auto responses that they are not available until after the 18th.

I honestly believed that I had enrolled so I contacted Jacqui Hamilton (Senior Administrative Officer). She checked the WES server logs but could not find a transaction to support this. I then sent off a request to IT support for them to check the email server to see if I received a confirmation email.

I then contacted the Team Leader of Student Services and booked a meeting with her for Friday January 7th. She agreed to meet with me to discuss my options but told me in no uncertain terms that my options were "limited".

On the 6th of January i went to my doctor and he wrote a note stating 'during October of last year some traumatic issues arose affecting my family structure and emotional stability. That I am still suffering from depression and anxiety because of this and that in his opinion it was essential for my recovery that i be enrolled in university this year'.

I then contacted the Director of the Equity and Diversity Centre who contacted the person i was meeting on the 7th on my behalf. I also contacted the disables office in an attempt to find out other grievance options or avenues that may have been possible.

I then set up a meeting with student rights so they could advise me on the next course of action i could take after my meeting. All the while Chris Gonsalvez is throwing as much weight around as possible on my behalf.

And so Friday the 7th came. I had been advised to write a letter with a detailed explanation of my situation and what i had done thus far so if needed it could be handed on. I walked into the building, followed the directions to the office and rang the bell as instructed.

To my dismay the bitchy little woman with the obviously far too tight pony tail opened the door and spoke in what was more like grunt "What do you want?". My heart sank as one single thought rushed over body, this woman could not possibly be the lady i had a meeting with could she. I said i had a meeting with the team leader. She motioned to the chairs and said that the team leader was busy and i would have to wait.

Not too long after a student left the room followed by a much more pleasant looking lady who asked if i was Paul. I said yes and we walked towards her office. She sat down behind her desk and we started to talk. I had a list of questions written down, but it seemed like i didn't need them as she answered several of them without prompting.

The meeting turned to my options or lack thereof. She told me that because my course doesn't exist anymore that i have been granted 1 years intermission, which is deferring for a year. This would mean i would still be able to finish off my course even though it doesn't exist anymore. I was then told i would have to wait until after the 18th of January for a decision to be made. First round offers were send out on the 18th and they needed that information from VTAC to know how many CSP places there were available. She then went to say that if that information did come back favourable the following options may become available to me.

1. Intermission being reduced to a semester and being able to go back in second semester.

2. Only being able to enroll in my two remaining IT units in first semester, and completing my remaining accounting ones in second semester.

3. Being allowing to enroll in my two remaining IT units and one of my business units. (This being the best possible option)

I was then told to stop pushing. In my desperate attempt to be heard i was apparently disregarding 'the system' by going above people. I told her i was pushing because nothing was happening but agreed to stop pushing until at least after the 18th. I left the meeting with the knowledge that i was at least heard and that the ball was finally in motion.

I then went and had a meeting with MONSU student rights. They explained that the team leaders boss who is the manager of undergraduates would ultimately have the final say and that if i attempted to contact the Dean of Business and Economics the matter would simply be referred to her to deal with.

So there i was, having done everything i possibly could only to be stuck in limbo waiting for the 18th to come around. That night i received an email from the team leader who said that i will get a response between the 18th and 20th.

My mind stewed on what even after all of this seemed like the likely outcome. I would not be going to uni during 2010. I researched diplomas, traveling options and full time employment options all the while thinking that this is not how this should pan out.

On the 20th January at 10:29am i received the following email:

Dear Paul,

I wish to advise that you have been permitted to re-enrol in your course for 2010.

I have added one unit to your enrolment for 2010, please access WES and amend your enrolment as soon as possible.

Please be advised that you will be charged a $250 late fee for failing to enrol in a timely manner.

Best of luck with your studies for 2010 and thank you for your patience whilst a decision was reached.

Kind regards,

###### ######
Team Leader, Student Services

My heart lifted as i read and re-read the email. My ordeal was over, and i finally felt like i was in control of the life that for the longest time felt like it was slipping away. My story is one that i am sure is replayed again and again every year. My problem it seemed would have simply been not hitting a submit button, and that for many is the difference between continuing higher education and effectively postponing their life for an entire year.

I was lucky. I post this cautionary tale not to vilify the institution or those involved in 'the system'. But to remind myself and others that the world can turn on a dime without notice.

Live for the little victories, because next time you might not come out on top.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Worst first date ever

2010-01-04T15:02:00.004+11:00

This was several years back when i was 18. It was the first gay date i had been on. Many would have actually heard this story and there are a few things i left out. This conversation was copied from msn:

Paul says:
ok so ive only just come out
and i had been on gaydar for about two months
talking to people on msn
my dating patterns are kind of weird
i go for long periods of time
where i wont date anyone
and then all of a sudden ill have 2 in the one weekend
sort of thing

Terry says:
Ah yea

Paul says:
ok there was this guy who was bugging me to meet up
and i finally caved
he lived in frankston
and i had never been to frankston before
and didnt particularly want to drive
so we made a date that would be just a movie on the friday
so i could catch a train there from uni
anyway as i said
i tend to get stints where i date
so i jumped in with both feet
and ended up with a date for saturday and one for sunday too
so date #1
i catch the train to frankston
get off at the stop he suggests
and i wait there
i ended up waiting 45 minutes before he finally turned up
he wasnt answering his mobile
and i had no other way of contacting him
so i just had to sit their at the train sation
he looked nothing like his photos
he was much more heavier in person
anyway we walked back over to his car
as i opened the passanger side door
what seemed like a weeks worth of maccas wrappers fell out onto the ground
the car was littered with them
we get in and we start driving
now again ive never been to frankston before
and i dont know if you have
but as we are driving along
the houses start to get less
until they are replaced by trees
and the road becomes gravel
we are out in the middle of no where
and the date was supposed to be a movie
through my window i can see an open ground mine
i think they just mine minerals
and the topic of conversation he decided to bring up was
"im not a murder or anything, but i bet i could dump a body down there and no one would find it"
not exactly the type of conversion you want to hear while in a strange persons car in the middle of no where
i grip the sides of the seats
and start thinking to myself what have i gotten into
the road eventually comes back and so does the houses
he says he needs to stop by his place first so he can pick up some money
i said fine, so we drive into his driveway, he gets out of the car and goes into the house
i sit in the car and wait
15 minutes goes by
and another car comes and parks behind up in the driveway
a dirty old ute
and out comes an equally dirty man walking up the driveway
he stops at my window and knocks
"ere iz he"
i point to the house
and inside he goes
the next 15 minutes all you can hear is yelling from inside the house
between the date and what i could only assume was his father
he eventually comes back out
and so does his father
the father backs out of the drive to let us out
and again we are off
he says that he is going to park at his work (pancake parlour) because its free
we get there and he says we have time so we should go in so he can check his shifts
i sit down at a table facing the kitchen
and off he goes into the kitchen
there he stays for 35 minutes
i only see him when he is standing in the door way of the kitchen
pointing me out to his friends
he comes back over and we go off to the movies
the movie was one of those "shoot em up" playstaton games that was made into a movie
like evil dead or something
i dont know whether you smoke
and ive asked a few friends who do about this
because i found it so weird
during the course of the movie which was only like an hour and half long
he left the cinemas 4 times to go smoke

Terry says:
Yea not cool
This sounds a fucked up date so far

Paul says:
its not over yet
lol
anyway his one redeeming feature
was that he didnt want me to catch the train from frankston station
it was like 11:30 at night by this time
and he said he would drive me to the next station in
he ended up driving me like 5 stations in
to a station that he knew they had security on
which i thought was nice
he left i blocked him on msn and didnt return his messages
but there i am
at 11:30 on friday night
thinking to myself that this couldnt possibly be what every date is going to be like
and then shitting myself because i had two more lined up!
on the train ride home
there wasnt many people in our carrage
there was a guy probably 23/24 across the aiel from me
a couple further down
a lady who had fallen asleep with her head up against the window
and a hobo
who was walking back and forth
there was a fair few stops to get back to mine
during the course of the trip the hobo would walk past me and back again
until he ened up sitting next to the lady who was asleep
as i was leaving i got up to go the door which was nearest the sleeping lady
and as we pulled into the station i turn to see the hobo licking the ladies face
and you know what the horrible thing was
i thought to myself well my day could have been worse
lol

Terry says:
That is the worst date story I have ever heard
Oh man that must of sucked

Paul says:
well i didnt want to go again
but i already made plans
and i hate cancelling
anyway the second guy was possibly one of the best dates ive ever been on
and i tried to replicate it with the guy on the third date
but couldnt
eneded up dating guy #2 for 8 months

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was pre-facebook and the reason i am posting it here is because i have recently tracked down this person!

I am a university drop out

2010-01-04T13:30:00.000+11:00

Or at least that is what Monash is telling me. On the 31st of December I logged into my Monash email for no real reason to find a rather worrying email with the subject line "You have not re-enrolled".

I did actually re-enroll so naturally i thought this was just some sort of mistake. I had been at Monash for 4 years and will (maybe..) finish my two degrees this year. I open the email and it tells me in no uncertain terms that re-enrollment closes on the 24th of November and that the late re-enrollment period lasts until the 18th of December.

Enrolling in the late re-enrollment period carried a fee of $250 and a warning that if you do not re-enroll you may lose your position in your course. I check the date again and yes it was still 31st of December well after the late period and during the time when Monash is closed for the holidays.

I must say the words that came from my mouth at this point were less than dignified. For you see my course actually no longer exists, individually each degree is obviously still running but there has not been a combination for a few years. There has also been changes to unit requirements in both these degrees that previously didn't effect me because of the stream i was in but i have a fear may come back to bite me in the ass when i become re-enrolled.

Monash like a lot of business opened back up today, but my efforts of communication with them have yielded nothing. Three calls where i was met with an answering machine stating the office i was attempting to get in contact with was currently busy is not a good sign. I sent an email on the 31st so maybe that will have better luck but i think it might be prudent that i go in tomorrow after work.

Not that i anticipate it is going to happen, but the thought of Monash saying i would only be able to get in for semester 2 is rather scary.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Resurrected?

2009-11-13T18:03:00.004+11:00

Well we will see.

This year has been one of the most challenging experiences in my university life. In the third year of my IT degree external clients hire Monash to build them an IT system that they then incorporate into their business operations.

The clients do not pay anything, but in the same respect they are not promised they will receive something of industry standard. It is a "you get what you pay for" situation as the people who are producing the system have no actual technical experience.

All throughout uni i have worried about what would happen when i finally have to participate in one of these industrial experience projects. I am doing a double degree and as such the people that i started uni with had graduated last year. This makes it difficult because by doing units with others you tend to get an indication of their skill level and work ethic, and based on that you are able to select the most appropriate team members to work with.

So as the start of this year began i became very concerned about who the rest of my team members would be. This is a year long project and a rather large burden if you have to carry the majority of the workload yourself.

As i stared out across the lecture theater on my first day, all my eyes fall upon were unfamiliar faces. That was until Evan (someone who i have actually had units with) said hello sat down next to me. This was quite a relief. Evan is an extremely talented person whose technical ability is at the same level (if not better) than my own.

The lecturer went on to give a little introduction about what will be happening over the course of the year and what we could to expect of the experience. When the lecture ended we all headed over to the computer labs for our first studio where we would be selecting who would be on our team.

My heart sank when Evan said he was in a different studio but knowing my luck i wasn't really surprised. I was determined to have Evan in my group so i proceed to ask (rather loudly) to a countless number of strangers whether they would be willing to swap studios with Evan. We eventually convinced someone and my team of one because a definite two. I would have been happy with that, it didn't matter who else was in our group because Evan and myself would have been able to produce what was required.

And then something else happened, Ryan (someone who i had only done one unit with) came up to Evan and asked to join our group. Evan then told me that Ryan was as technically capable as us. I was agog. I honestly couldn't believe my luck. Before the studio had even started i had some how managed to collect arguably (and which became rather apparent throughout the year) THE top people three people in our degree.

So that is how the story of this year began. I'm mentioning this because over the past year i have been writing a chronicle of my experiences working within this group in an attempt to produce a system.

All this writing has lead me back here. Whether this leads to a resurrection, i haven't decided yet. But we will see soon enough.

Till next we meet,
Paul

All good things

2008-05-30T12:35:00.003+10:00

Its an odd feeling writing this. This blog was started without any intention on my part to post a single piece. And yet it survived 2 and a half years (with much neglect). But as a wise man once said 'nothing gold can stay', so like oh so many other things, it is time to give it up.

This chapter in my life is closed, leaving me with mixed feelings. I now know its silly to hold on. I no longer see it as it once was, something that would from time to time place a smile on my face. So here it remains, a testimonial of who i once was, imperfections and all.

Thank you for listening.

Till next we... perhaps not,
Paul

Friend is a four letter word

2008-03-28T20:20:00.003+11:00

My body is shaking; my lips quiver as I stare into his eyes. I search his face but it yields no register of the words I had just spoken. I stand there, waiting for him to say something, anything.

I’ve been dreading this moment. For weeks it’s been building. And now that its here I can barley catch my breath. My heart beats so heavily that I fear it will betray me. I put on my mask and try to stay composed, inside I die a little.

We both knew it was coming. Things change I guess, people grow apart. I just didn’t think it would happen to us.

So now it’s said and done. Do I regret it? I guess it’s too early to tell. One day ill be able to talk to you again. But not now.

Till next we meet,
Paul

The Gospels According To Paul

2008-03-03T23:16:00.001+11:00

Things will never be the same

2008-02-19T01:11:00.001+11:00

Snatched away by force,
Left to rot out in the rain.
The innocence of a child,
Now shivering in self blame.

Hidden in the corner,
Locked away from prying sight.
Lies that child, praying, wishing,
Someday that he might.

Wash away the scares,
And forget about the pain.
All the while knowing,
Things will never be the same.

The child keeps on living,
Maybe out of spite.
He wakes up drenched and screaming,
He can never sleep at night.

The darkness of events,
Keep replaying in his dreams.
A never ending story,
Where nothings what it seems.

The child, now a man,
Lives away from where he came.
Although the dreams have stopped,
Things will never be the same.

He lies in bed all alone,
And waits till morning come.
He dreads the sound of footsteps,
Though he knows there will be none.

The man receives a letter,
Informing of his father wake.
The father has died suddenly,
And to the grave he take.

The secrets of his life,
And the answers there within.
The reasoning of madness,
And the multitude of sin.

The man stares at the letter,
For what seems to be an age.
He walks around the room,
Yet his eyes don’t leave the page.

He knows he should feel safe,
The threat has gone and passed.
But he cannot help but think,
Of the questions gone unasked.

The man has never told a soul,
And decided never will.
The past is best left where it lies,
Under a dirt mound hill.

In front a stone, made of clay,
With words imprinted had.
Here lies a man remarked to be,
The world’s greatest dad.

A Chance to Dream:

2008-02-06T21:59:00.000+11:00

I lie in bed holding my breath, waiting for that sound I deeply dread. Outside the room a bottle falls and rolls across the floor. I am safe, he will not wake tonight. I breathe again, slowly allowing for my muscles to relax. I permit myself to falter, and dream. Dreams are a risky escape, a reality without the limitations and boundaries of the current. They are the great equalisers among men. Where a person can become anything just by simply wishing it. I like dreams; I like to pretend I’m somewhere else. It doesn’t matter where, as long as its not here. I close my eyes and the room disappears, melting away the worries of the day. When I open them again I find I am enclosed by a clear plastic box. I like this dream, I have had it many time before. From my box I watch the world pass by. It does not notice me, and I do not care. I watch the chaos of uncertainty that plagues this world and feel glad I am in my box. I am safe. I wish this dream would last for ever, but it never does.

In a dream there is always a certain amount of control one has; the ability to stop an event they do not like by simply waking up. Sometimes I wonder why life can’t be like this. Why can’t I just wake up? My life in essence is a reoccurring nightmare, a reality more fitting of a fictitious creation. So that is how I treat it. I block it out hoping that it will someday pass, but it never does. I am a prisoner, bound by my circumstances, relinquished of my will. A condemned victim, persecuted for simply being. As time passed on I have noticed a yearning within myself. A craving for a release from the pains of this world into the reality of the dream.

A dream creates a safe environment that cannot be matched by anything in this world. Where a consequence is but a word, thrown around defying its very definition. You cannot be hurt in a dream, there is no sorrow, there is no pain.

I feel myself slipping away from the dream. I can’t go back, I mustn’t go back. My surroundings start to blend together. I desperately try to cling to the dream, but my futile attempts fail. I am awake.

Morning breaks as the downing of a new day slowly brings me back to reality. Movement outside the room tells me he has woken too. A loud crack of a leather belt on wood is a prologue to the up coming events of the day. I sit up slowly and listen to the sound of rain falling on nearby rooftops. The calming echo of splashing water prepares me for what I must do next. Outside the room he yells my name, I do not listen. I pick up a sheet, rap it around my neck and start to pull. It digs into my throat and I pull harder, I cannot stop now. I can not breathe and I am starting to get dizzy, but it is worth it. To dream, one last time, to die.

Statement of intention: This story was written as a first person narrative by a thirteen year old with knowledge beyond his years. The perspicacity of the child is a representation of the ultimate loss of possible potential when someone commits suicide.

Religion or Cult?

2007-11-26T20:26:00.000+11:00

Apparently im not allowed to use these words interchangeably. For some reason people get offended if i reference their religion as a cult. I personally see no difference. To differentiate is to claim that one person’s beliefs are more valid than another's. Considering no one can definitively prove one way or the other they shall all be cults to me.

Its so hard to legally define what is a religion, simply cause its so loosely established. So because of this reason we shall stick with the basic concept. The main difference between a religion and a cult is there size. Apparently if enough people believe in something, no matter how absurd, it gives it validity, and even more importantly a tax status. (Even christianity was once considered a cult).

The word cult has negative connotations, the image it congers is of an elitist totalitarian society headed by a self appointed charismatic preacher who intends to keep its members separated from the 'polluted' ideals of established society. Im here to tell you not all cults are like this, and not all religions are that far from this concept. The religious wars that caused so much blood shed over countless years were the original way to limit the strength of opposing religious concepts. By physically decreasing the amount of individuals believing conflicting views, they were able gain strength through fear and brute force. Add this to smear campaigns listing other religions as cults and you can almost understand why pagan symbols such as pentagrams were adopted by satanic extremists.

Religions/Cults aren't bad. That said they are not always good either. They give people hope, strength, courage and faith. They also give limited responsibility, irrational reasoning and prejudice logic. As long as they are not taken too seriously in a fanatic nature, and a person remains open minded i don't too much care what you believe. Just don't expect me to share your views.

A cult by any other name...

Till next we meet,
Paul

My youth is slipping

2007-11-24T17:15:00.000+11:00

Today i woke up old. I guess it could have been worse, i could have woken as Gregor Samsa did, but even this gives me little solace. I have been ripped from my teens before my time, before i could truly appreciate that that is the teenage life. And now with each passing year, death comes one step closer and i become that little more undesirable.

I initially had a plan to combat this problem, instead of turning twenty i would simply turn twenteen. But now in my much more wiser frame of mind i see this would be a foolish attempt to grasp at my slipping youth.

In the fading days leading up to this moment, i (almost) made a list of 'lasts'; things to do while i was still a teen. This turned out to consist of most of the things one is able to do when they turn 18, and because i didn’t put much effort into it i didn’t follow through by completing the tasks. For reference sake the kind of things that were on the list included: purchasing smokes (i don't smoke), going to a club (for the last time as a teen), getting a tattoo or piercing, get married and then consequently getting divorced (i sadly couldn’t find a willing participant) ect ect... And now looking back it perhaps could have been fun, ow well we live and learn.

So what happens now? What’s left for me? Will i slowly develop a taste for plaid? An overwhelming desire for lawn bowls? What?

The future is so unpredictable, and time so fleeting i doubt ill know until it’s upon me. So here’s to one more morning, for now that they are numbered. Half way to 40...

Youth is wasted on the young.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Fluro is in? Really?

2007-11-12T15:56:00.000+11:00

Ok so this gospel is anything but a raver, i don't pretend to understand that impulse attraction to such colours and concede that style is a matter of personal taste. Obviously im a very accepting person, but there are some fashion faux pas that i cannot stand idly by and allow to continue.

1: The hot pink trackie dacks, IT IS NOT socially acceptable to wear hot pink trackie dacks in public! I realise pink is the new black, and i do not have a vendetta against the colour, simply the vile combination when it meets the already over abused trackie dacks. Whenever i venture out to a public shopping center i am bombarded with wave after wave of hideous looking teenage girls sporting these gag inducing pants and this self conceded look on their face as if they actually think they are 'all that'.

2: Clogs. You know what im talking about, those crazy plastic abominations. They are supposable extremely comfortable but that does not mean you are allowed to wear them in front of me! Its not just crazy people buying these things either, for some reason places like kmart and target cant stock enough of them.

What is this world coming too, first the fluro trackie dack and now the clog... is there any hope left for us any more? This needs to stop, sign a partition or write a letter to your local council member. Do whatever it takes, this has gone far enough, for if we don't do something now who knows what will happen. And for those of you who own either item you should be ashamed!

Fashion is not a luxury, It’s a right!

Till next we meet,

Paul

Smart people wear glasses

2007-11-11T18:33:00.001+11:00

There still remains a preconceived notion that smart people wear glasses. And at one point i agree this conception could have been true. Back before stylish designs were created, those with less than perfect sight (and therefore physically flawed) were shunned from view and social activity. Now these freaks roam among us, and worse yet, these defective individuals no longer even have their superior intelligence.

This stigma was originally created because every saturday night they would be locked away in their rooms with nothing but books to comfort their lonely pain. All was right in the world, they knew their place and they could be contained.

Life has changed so much, and with this the acceptance of 'the four eyed' breed. We see them in our movie theaters, in our parks, in our lives. They have seeped from their rightful places in government institutions and laboratories to our supermarkets, surf shops and yes even our hair dressing salons. The infestation is total.

The reason i bring this startling development to your eyes is because elections are approaching. It used to be, that at a glance, the common man (person, woman can vote now too apparently) was easily able to identify the correct candidate by how hideous their eye wear happened to be. There WAS a direct correlation between this hideousness and social rejection , but now the lines are blurred and has left this voter with no other option to base his decision than each candidates political agenda. What is this world coming too?

Stop blurring my vision

Till next we meet,
Paul

Epiphany

2007-09-29T12:58:00.000+10:00

Umm I wrote a blog, that I don’t really want to make public, but I just wanted to say ive had an epiphany of sorts and have learnt some scary things about myself. Im not proud of a lot of things in my life, and inside im a pretty sad person. I don’t know if im a strong enough person to do what I have to, but im going to try and make a few changes in my life. So im going through some stuff and you’re just going to have to bear with me.

Get lost! I can't, I have a gps.

2007-09-18T18:11:00.000+10:00

Or rather had one, I’ve come to think deals direct is a little bit shottie! Ok so my mother wanted to get my father a gift for his birthday and decides that a GPS is a good idea. She finds what seems like a pretty awesome one on deals direct, and thinks well if im saving 300 bucks on one, ill save 900 dollars if I buy three.

So this is how both me and my brother ended up with one each. So all three arrive in the mail, we open them up and the one dad selected doesn’t work! Secretly I chuckle, thankful that mine was working fine. That was until today. Now mines cracked the shits and has decided to stop working.

Im obviously very angry because I was just starting to like it (its really a PDA with GPS capability, meaning ive been watching movies on it and taking my lectures on it too). So now we have to find the dam warranty and hope to god it all gets fixed.

Two down, one to go.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Skittles Vodka

2007-09-18T17:47:00.000+10:00

Sugar energy highs and lowered inhibitions, what could go wrong! Yes you heard me right, skittles vodka, the craze that’s sweeping the nation.

I must warn people that this is a time consuming task that unfortunately needs a fair bit of preparation. I have successfully made and consumed two bottles and believe it was well worth it.

Create Skittles Vodka For Mixers: The BEST Summer Time Drink - For more amazing video clips, click here

Coles accepts Wesfarmers' A$21.9bn takeover bid

2007-07-04T17:41:00.000+10:00

What will happen now... i guess only time will tell

Crazy Customers!

2007-07-02T18:38:00.000+10:00

We had a psycho in my store today, he punched a 16 year old boy in the face, was verbally abusive to all around him, and shoved a very small girl team member to the ground before finally deciding to leave. He was also seen in the parking lot kicking cars.

Now our store is situated in Stud Park shopping center, not 500 meters away from stud park police. YET HALF AN HOUR LATTER THEY STILL HADNT ARIVED. I would hate to think what would have happened in an emergency.

Understandably I had the 16 year old boy’s mother yelling at me, I felt so sorry for them both yet there was nothing I could do. The center security consists of a small old lady with a flash light and an oversized walky-talky. She did nothing!

And all this happened on our new store managers first day, what a lovely welcome. He handled the situation very professionally, making sure the shaken team members could safely return home.

Another moment of movie madness

2007-07-02T01:30:00.000+10:00

Am i crazy? you decide.

So once again i have found myself in a moment of move madness, the desired movie of choice: The fountain. It is a saturday night and after been told that my friends 'cant be bothered' going out, i take my entertainment needs into my own hands. I had been told that there was a movie out thats ending baffled even the brightest of advisories 'The Fountain'.

In the beginning i was driven by mere fascination. I arrive at Blockbuster Rowville, to find all five copies have been rented out. I came for a specific movie, and was not tempted by the others lining the walls of the establishment. A normal man would give up here, but not me. I travel to another shopping complex still in Rowville to Video Ezy. To my dismay all there copies have been rented! (i also saw they were renting the secret, i paid 50 bucks for my mother to have a copy and i could have simply hired and burnt it, so this adds to my anger).

I am wounded but not beaten, i then travel to Knox City Blockbuster. I am met with the same taunting image, the plastic little signs everywhere 'Sorry im out'. Like hell your sorry! I return to my car to make the long trip home, there was one more stop but at this point i was not hopeful.

I turn left into highstreet road and park at the Wantirna Blockbuster. I make a b-line for the F section along the wall. And there as if a miracle, one last copy of 'The Fountain'. I quickly snatch it up rejoicing in my triumph, knowing full well this could have easily been disastrous.

Whether the movie was worth it or not was irrelevant, i have achieved something in my life, i have experted more effort than any who came before me and i reap my reward. Am i crazy? Does it matter? I have my movie, and all is right in the world again.

Sometimes effort pays off.

Till next we meet,
Paul

My calling

2007-07-02T00:35:00.000+10:00

I believe everyone has a purpose in life, a calling if you will. I do not believe this is predefined, but rather built by the decisions and choices each one of us makes throughout our life that ultimately defines who we are. I have found my calling, looking back i can see my whole life has been leading to this one moment. Not everyone knows what they wish to become and some never find it, so i consider myself very lucky. I have found my destiny!

I am to join the noble ranks of men in the immortal quest that is, the search for the super parma. My resources are slim so my quest, at the moment, is contained to the boundaries of the Melbourne area. Countless have tried and failed, they were week. Where they have failed i shall succeed, and upon their backs i shall raise victorious.

Many believe it is simply a fable told to children, but i know better, it is out there , waiting for me. And so my long and arduous quest begins. My mind and body will pine as one for that i seek, and until this overpowering desire is fulfilled i shall never be complete.

Unknowingly i have been training for this moment, my mother feeding me nothing but chicken for 19 years has giving me an unnatural ability to identify the perfect blend of poultry, cheese and sauce. And now the time has come for me to unleash this power onto the world.

The quest has begun.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Life as an innocent bystander

2007-05-07T09:56:00.000+10:00

Im not a bad person, I don’t cause horrible things to others, so then why are they inflicted upon me. My car was broken into for the second time in less than a year this morning. I arose early (5:30am because I need to go to uni to use a program for an assignment due at 9) to find my passenger side window smashed and the contents of my car scatted across the lawn.

I don’t believe anything was taken this time, was probably just some kids with nothing better to do than annoy me. This has caused such an inconvenience, not only did I almost freeze to death driving into uni, but now I have to spend the day chasing around places to find a window that can replace my broken one.

Wish me luck

Till next we meet,
Paul

Untitled story (part 2) A fitting end

2007-04-25T19:48:00.000+10:00

(Well one of my readers has made an attempt at finishing the untitled story, strangely enough its exactly how i imagined it turning out. Well... So here is Luke Davidson's attempt at an ending)

He reached for a razor blade near the sink. Tonight he would end the pain. No longer would he let people into his heart only to have them treat it like yet another disposable item in this fast food world. Only the razor blade wasn't there.

'Where had it gone?' he asked himself. Standing up, he decided he must have left it in the kitchen. He trudged down the lonely, dark hallway towards the kitchen. And then he heard it. Laughter.

Where was it coming from? Who was laughing at him now? Turning around, he saw a faint glow coming from the living room. Like a moth to flame he moved towards the room.

The noise had come from the TV. On it, he saw real people like himself, daring to open themselves up completely. Daring to be proud of who they were. Daring to live. And he knew what he must do. He must live. He must live his life to the full. A life of passion, a life of love, a life of hope. And he had this tv show, Big Brother, to thank for it.

God bless whoever thought Big Brother was a good idea.

(FYI 50th post, now does luke feel special)

Till next we meet,
Paul

Untitled story (part 2 an unfitting end)

2007-04-19T18:40:00.002+10:00

Im not going to finish this story, and its your fault! You did it to me, and you should be ashamed. Apart from danny and james i heard nothing from anyone about it. So its simply not going to be finished now, why should i put the effort in. Admittedly it was shitty and quite predictable, but hey guess what you didn't see this coming as an ending so you can shove it up your ass.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Untitled story (part 1)

2007-04-10T13:11:00.000+10:00

The man stopped in his tracks; once again he had lowered his barriers and opened his heart to the world, only to have it crushed with disappointment by those he trusted. He felt ashamed that he had deceived himself, he knew very well that’s this would happen as it often did, but he became blinded by the euphoric notion that it could be different this time, this time they had changed.

He lowered his phone from his ear and placed it on the counter. He removed his coat and laid it on the chair to his right closest to the door, he would have no use for it tonight. He turned on his heels very slowly and moved towards his bathroom.

The man was not old, yet one could no longer call him young. From the outside it would be perceived that he was happy. He had a well paying job at which he was very talented, he had a nice car and he owned his own home. Yes, from the outside it would seem that life was good.

The man reached the bathroom, flicked the switch and bathed the white room in light. He kept his gaze down as he moved towards the sink. With one brush of his arm he cleared the bench, spilling the contents onto the floor. He placed both hands around the edges of the sink to support himself, as if he didn’t trust his legs to hold. His eyes remained down, staring directly into the bowl.

Life had not been easy for the man, everything he had he had to work for. From a very early age the man learnt he could only depend on himself, that in this world there is only one you can truly trust. This notion may have made him bitter, but it also made him strong.

(this has not ended on a cliff hanger, simply the place where i have gotten bored. Besides i like the notion of breaking what maybe a less than 600 word short story into two non perceivable parts)

She choose to walk alone

2007-03-26T18:41:00.000+10:00

She choose to walk alone,
Though others wondered why.
Refused to look before her,
Kept eyes cast towards the sky.

She didn't have companions,
No need of earthly things.
Only wanted freedom,
From what she felt were puppet strings.

She longed to be a bird,
That she might fly away.
She pitted every blade of grass,
For planted it would stay.

She longed to be a flame,
That brightly danced alone.
Felt jealous of the steam,
That made the air its only home.

Some say she wished too hard,
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day,
To find that she way gone.

The trees they say stood witness,
The sky refused to tell.
But those of whom had seen it,
Said the story turned out well.

She spread her arms out wide,
Breathed in the break of dawn.
She just let go of all she know,
And then, she was gone.

Hu is on first?

2007-03-20T12:49:00.001+11:00

It's not cheating right....

2007-03-18T16:40:00.000+11:00

Since the dawn of man, we have been searching. Searching for the definitive answer to the ultimate question. What constitutes cheating?

Ok so its not really the ultimate question, but i'd like to know the definitive boundaries none the less. And more importantly when should you tell someone about the actions of their partner if you feel the line may have been crossed?

So let's look at the facts, if a person is in a monogamous relationship, what interactions are only expectable to be conducted with the individuals within that relationship? What actions if conducted with another person constitutes as a cheating act? And now once you have decided that, if an action lies on the boundaries does it then became cheating if they knowingly conceal it? I mean if the president of the United States can claim fellatio is not classified as sex, then where is the line in the sand when it comes to cheating?

Thoughts for a waiting man

Till next we meet,
Paul

Jesus, take the wheel

2007-03-05T18:29:00.000+11:00

It’s the least he could do really; I mean when does he ever chip in anymore. His been milking that ‘dieing for our sins’ thing for far too long, and its starting to get on my nerves. What kind of friend is he anyway? You go to see him once a week, his never there, and then he gets pedophiles to hit you up for cash; which is used to his further addiction. Let’s face it, Jesus is a drunk. When you have more wine in your blood stream than blood you know you have a problem, I’m thinking of having an intervention.

He is supposed to be a role model for our younger generations, yet not only is he a booze hound, he openly wastes water by walking all over it, I mean for Christ sake Jesus! His just mad because no one honks at those ‘honk it you love Jesus’ bumper sticks anymore, add that to the fact he can’t get his head around why his symbol is a fish and you can almost understand why he drinks.

His just like Paris Hilton, only famous because his daddy is. My friend just downloaded his movie ‘a night in Jesus’ but I hate night vision and it’s a bit old.

Its about time you help out Jesus, what have you done for me lately?

Till next we meet,
Paul

Wall of Shame

2007-03-03T17:17:00.000+11:00

At my work (kmart) they have just recently started a system which i shall refer to as the wall of shame. On this wall there is a list of mistakes that one can make when using a register during day to day activities. If you make one of these (sometimes very easy mistakes in protocol) your user code will be written up on this wall for everyone to see.

This is apparently legal because privacy is still (theoretically) maintained. Instead of writing the individuals name, they write the users number. This number is unique to each employee and only disclosed at that employees discretion. This is complete bull shit of course, not only is your user code printed at the top of every receipt but anyone so inclined can go and check on the computer.

Once the number is written on the wall that employee must see the line manager and sign a formal notice of the offense. If an employee receives three written warnings for the same offence they can be fired!

To give you an idea of how crazy this is, there have been over 30 offenses in two days and one poor person has their number written up under 5 of the different offenses. (User code 777 – I intend to find out who this person is lol.)

I have a feeling the friendly mentality of the kmart employees maybe lost after this stunt by management.

The only good to come of it is i've decided that I am going to openly judge those around me with a very similar system; look out for it in the up coming weeks.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Neglectful Paul

2007-02-27T22:48:00.000+11:00

Bad paul, bad paul... Well now i got that out of the way :)
I was going to do some post about Jesus but forgot the angle i was going to take so that will simply have to wait while i update you on my life (very quickly because i need to go to bed, gotta get up for work at 6 :( )

Well uni has just started back again, still trying to figure out whether i think this is a good thing or not... Disaster has already stuck and it was only my first day! One of my units has had too many people enrol, meaning we have exceeded the capacity of the lecture theatre we are allocated in. And because monash is so good at effectively using its resources all the lecture theatres with a capacity size able to accommodate us are booked solid! They are attempting to shift a marketing unit to a different location (which in turn will move another unit and so on.. until the game of tetras is complete and everyone is satisfied). The main problem with this (besides the inconvenience) is its going to screw up my strategically positioned hours at work! And ill have to work out my hours all over again.

Was introduced to POD (Peter O’Donnell) today, my Systems analysis and design lecturer. His such a character, and i have a feeling his enthusiasm is going to get us happily through the dry material we have to cover. The reason why i mention him is because he is making one of the hurdles to pass this aforementioned unit a reflective blog. Karl mentioned he had to do one for his course a little while back and said the others in his class didn’t really take it seriously. If you have ever read this blog before (or simply look at the amount of times i have posted) you will see that i don’t really take this one as seriously as i should, and am worrying whether the content that i am forced to post will come easily enough.

Well now i simply must go to bed

Till next we meet,
Paul

Forgettable

2007-02-16T19:02:00.000+11:00

Not that you realize it, but there are many people fluttering in and out of your life each day that you simply forget. They are of no importance so their mental image is pushed aside. With this in mind think of those around you, your most closest of friends. How did you meet them? Why have you become friends? Why were they not forgotten?

It’s a very disparaging thought to think that if the circumstances were slightly altered that irreplaceable friend may be interchanged with another. That this person could have simply been another forgotten face lost in the crowd. Can you imagine passing them on the street without even a slightest of acknowledgments?

Sometimes it’s nice to know that you are thought of, that your not only remembered but accepted with all the baggage that entails. Think of that one person out there that can validate you, now take them away. It is said that you never truly know what you have until it is gone, but a forgotten face can not be appreciated, so the irony lies in the fact that you can never know what you are missing.

The ‘what if’ game is a cruel mistress that shows you how lucky you really are, you were not forgotten, and even in that there is a small victory. So in the interests of unforeseeable idealistic notions, be open to what life brings, why not greet a stranger, you never know who they may become.

Don’t forget me.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Time, the penultimate decider

2007-02-10T14:24:00.000+11:00

Life recently has just seemed like one decision after the next, a smorgasbord of problematic choices testing this weary uncertain traveler. But then again where would our story lead without the protagonist having to have to make a decision? Time will wait no man, and even least likely this one, so choices need to be made.

Why can’t life be simple, simplicity is supposed to be in right now, why can’t that translate into life? The thing is life isn’t simple; it’s the most complicated thing you will ever experience. And this complexity is the reason why decisions are so hard to reach. Each decision we make will have ramifications, some foreseeable some not, which will impact not only upon our lives but that of those around us.

I keep hearing people say that stupid expression, ‘only time will tell’. Time tells nothing except the passing of each wasted moment. Time is the penultimate decider, for when it really comes down to it, it is you and you alone who must decide. Yes it may force your hand, but it is you who must play the cards you are dealt.

We are all but a moment in time.

Till next we meet,
Paul

The Test

2007-02-04T17:36:00.000+11:00

I’ve been told that every blog must have one of these buried deep somewhere. So I thought I’d bite the preverbal bullet and produce one now, if only to get it over and done with.

A test to find your ultimate companion:

(Just imagine I’m reading this to you in a slow melodic monotone voice, how a monotone voice could sound melodic I have no idea. But why should we let that stop the magic.)

Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? Do you see their face?

Who would you most like to have in your life to ward off moments of loneliness? Do you see their face?

When you travel, who would make your trips more enjoyable? Do you see their face?

When your in pain, who would you most like to comfort you? Do you see their face?

When something wonderful happens in your life; a promotion at work, a successful financing. Who do you want to share the news with? Do you see their face?

Whose face appears to you my friend? Whose face?

Till next we meet,
Paul

Save the cheerleader, save the world

2007-01-29T18:06:00.000+11:00

Everyone wants to be a hero; we all want to save the day. You fantasize about it after every action movie you watch. Plastering your face upon the protagonist in one of the over sensationalized situations, and then mimicking the actions of the flavor-of-the-moment actor whom happens to be playing the role.

Life isn’t a movie; the fictional characters of the screen are simply that, fiction, along with their actions. They are an extreme, risking everything selflessly within outlandish circumstances. They have become the image of the hero, monopolizing the definition. But the word hero encompasses so much more.

Heroes come in all shapes and forms; they are a son, a daughter, a stranger. They are everyday people just like you and me, except when they were put in a situation they went above and beyond.

People are heroes for various different reasons, many of which are not as glorified as Hollywood would portray them, (eg: defusing a bomb underwater whilst surrounded by man eating sharks and a clown who won’t stop bouncing from side to side (its in the next Spiderman I swear :p)). And just because their actions aren’t as showy doesn’t diminish their heroic status.

Sometimes heroes are not seen for what they truly are, special, unique. Sometimes standing out of the crowd isn’t seen, at the time, as heroic simply because of society’s conformist mentality; to step away from the group, to question the unquestioned.

So this is a message to the unsung everyday heroes of the world, even if recognition or gratitude isn’t shown, thank you. Thank you for doing what we could not, for what needed to be done.

A knight does not always wear armor.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Empty Pockets

2007-01-26T15:40:00.000+11:00

$110,000. That is approximately what my brain is worth upon the conclusion of my education. At that kind of expense you think you would at least get a mug or something… I’d get it insured but the excess isn’t worth it.

In the not too distant future I’m going to wake up one day 40 grand indebt without a cent to my name, and I’m supposed to be excited about this. It’s a bit of a daunting figure to conceive, especially when all I’ll have to show for it is two pieces of paper. All I have to say is it better be some dam good paper, especially considering Kmart is selling 500 sheet sets for $4.99.

I hate debt, it’s such a downer. Far too many people get out of control and attempt to live beyond their means. Either living paycheck to paycheck or horrifyingly paying one card off with another. This is why I promised myself I would never get a credit card. Not that I don’t trust myself, I simply wanted to stay away from temptation. But apparently this is not an option; I need to get a credit card, if only to establish a credit history.

I’m not bad with money, and tend to think I’m alright at saving. But I’m afraid my habits may change if I succumb to the incessant amount of preapproved credit card applications I receive. I don’t want to have to go on one of Oprah's debt diets if I suddenly become obsessed. My brother is horrible with his card; it should be taken away from him! Even though he can’t handle the repayments he continues to purchase (eBay and credit cards do not mix. Can you say his addiction is an affliction? No? Well then try it without that piece of metal in your mouth). My mother is constantly paying his bills much to my father’s aggravation, and yet somehow my brother has the money for a spare of the moment trip to Canada…

I have decided to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. My credit history shall have to wait, probably until that aforementioned fateful morning…

To charge, or not to charge? And Shakespeare thought he had it bad…

Till next we meet,
Paul

Swimming upstream

2007-01-21T15:18:00.001+11:00

Do you ever feel like your swimming against the current, like the tide is constantly knocking you back, away from solid ground? And no matter how much you fight, you're never completely in control?

I feel that life is a constant struggle, where nothing ever comes easily. We are forced into this battle if only to stay afloat, being persistently tested by the unforgiving sea that is our circumstances.

It is relentless, cold and harsh. Indiscriminate to all. And so we fight on. We keep pushing against this force that shall never subside. Simply because we know what will become of us if we falter, if we fail, if only for a moment.

In the end the current always wins.

Till next we meet,
Paul

iDiot

2007-01-16T17:12:00.000+11:00

(What a great site http://foryourentertainment.blogspot.com/)

The List

2007-01-10T20:48:00.000+11:00

Silly me tried to take on the world, and am slowly getting bored with what it is throwing back at me. Not all that long ago i started an endeavour, i say endeavour because it has been a personal trial of sorts. The task, to read the 100 books that adorn my list entitled 'The 100 greats before you die'. Now i have tried! Truly i have but this is starting to get ridiculous, i think i have taken on more than i can handle. A set list does not work. I have found myself going out of my way to read books that are not featured and therefore undermining the whole of point of the set list!

In the past two months i have read:
- The metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
- Swans way by Marcel Proust
- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
- Ulysses by James Joyce
- Who's afraid of Virgina Woolf by Edward Albee
- The sound and the fury by William Faulkner
- The Great Gatsby by Francis Scott Fitzgerald
- Cell by Stephen King
- The old man and the sea by Ernest Hemingway
- Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
- Malicious Intent by Kathryn Fox
- The Rainmaker by John Grisham
(And have just started Elbow Room by James Alan)

Ive finally figured out why the list is so named. Because once begun it shall slowly kill the participant, or at least remove their desire to live :)

I am currently adding to my list, i'm going to remove some that i don't care to try and replace them with others. If you have a valid suggestion it would be greatly appreciated.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Revelation 1

2007-01-06T20:04:00.000+11:00

- And he shall burn for all of time, knowing not what he should know

Why has no one ever told me that sunscreen expires! Looking back upon the multitude of times where I was burnt simply because the protective lotion I applied was deemed ineffective could almost make me cry… Almost…

Logically it never occurred to me that sunscreen would have a ‘best before’ let along an expiration date, and as a consequence of this absence of information I have burnt and peeled unnecessarily. I blame the media, its purpose is to inform the masses, hence I believe this is a gross oversight on their behalf.

I am unfortunately not one of the lucky ones, born with perfect healthy looking tanned skin. I am what I would refer to as a ‘pasty person’, a condition that my parents felt the need to tell me when I was five. This of course completely ruined my ambitions of becoming the first black woman president. We all have obstacles, mine just happen to be quite large.

I wouldn’t feel sorry for me too quickly, I mean my condition is severe, but I’m not quite english just yet. Although sometimes I do wonder…

I have tried to brown on a few occasions. Of course they were completely in vain, but the point of this story is I have tried. No matter my efforts the result turns out the same, me lying on my back not moving for a good week just to recover.

Burning no longer on the agenda

Till next we meet,
Paul

A plight to fight

2007-01-04T20:55:00.000+11:00

Boredom has set in, and now look what i am reduced to.

Today i was searching for oxymoron's, don't ask me why, perhaps it’s just because i seem to like the word. And have decided, even though i was once enthralled by the notion (the brief period between typing it into google and pressing enter), the concept of them has become mundane at best. The top listing, which although slightly amusing 'Microsoft Works', fell far short of interesting and has left me border than before i began my quest.

So my search continues. I have an unquenchable thirst to be entertained with no medium in which to derive it. If a kind reader happens across this post, I ask that they take pity on me and help me in my plight.

Ow for those who like the TV show 'The OC' i found this entertaining: click here

Till next we meet,
Paul

Global Warming

2007-01-01T19:51:00.000+11:00

For those of the nonbelievers proof is finally here:

(http://growabrain.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/global_warming.jpg)

New years resolution

2006-12-28T21:33:00.001+11:00

Once again we are rapidly approaching the end of the year, a time of reflection.

Reflection upon time gone by and of past resolutions that have like so many fallen to the waist side. Admittedly I tend not to make resolutions, knowing full well that I shall never fulfil them. It is always easier to give up before we begin. But this year I have decided things are going to be different.

Well not that much different, baby steps is key. But it is a step in the right direction none the less. I have never been into the whole ‘self-bettering’ thing, mainly because I’m quite happy with who I am. I know my flaws and tendencies and think it would be rather hard to change them now, tis sad that I'm already set in my ways at such a young age.

So you ask, what could the gospel Paul possibly want to change as part of his new years resolution? Well its not to be more out going, and I'm sorry to say its not to blog more. Its not to get in shape and its not to drink less. Its not to be more open and sadly its not to try new things. I think that just about covers most of the cliches, except of course the one I'm planning on committing to :).

My main problem is effort, i tend let things pass me by because I'm unwilling to exert anything above the normal level. This year i have tried going out of my way, and have been very pleased with the results. A few of my friendships have grown a lot stronger and the enjoyment i derive from them far outweighs what effort i've had to go through. All the new places, people and experiences i've gone out of my way to meet or try has made this one of the happiest years of my life.

So my resolution, is to be willing to exert at least the same amount of effort i have this year. Knowing full well how hard it is to stick to a resolution i am making it attainable.

Hope all whom that read this has a happy and safe new year.

Till next we meet,
Paul

On the second part of christmas

2006-12-25T22:10:00.000+11:00

On the second part of Christmas the fishers brought to me:
- two very scared german exchange students

The reason why the exchange students were scared (apart from having to live with the fishers...) was my brother turned up and started voicing is anger, so that was fun for me :)

The mother had been bitten by a dog a few days before, she was telling the story and my father had to stop me from laughing out loud. Then they started talking about how they have to see their extended family tomorrow for lunch, and how much they can't stand the freaks... Talk about calling the kettle black..

Then Kate, Steven (right spelling) and the germans left, after which the mother started talking about sending Kate away somewhere because she has anorexia :)

Other things i don't want to elaborate on:
- There was a very embarrassing incident with my father
- Told the fishers the thing i let slip at the other Christmas lunch
- Forgot the name of the little one (Eliza)

It s finally over.... until next year

Till next we meet,
Paul

On the first part of chirstmas

2006-12-25T19:18:00.000+11:00

On the first part of Christmas my grandma said to me:
- "We need to ship off all those dam Indians, we have enough taxi drivers as it is"
- "The chinks are multiplying"
- "Those fags that live down the street.." (i think she was saying they were shifty or something, i was trying not to pay attention)

There were more but i forgot them as a result of the other events that happened.
For one i inadvertently let slip something i didn't want to, but doesn't really matter and two i backed my brothers car into a tree.. So he went off tap screaming and cracking a fit, threatening my life and all :)

All this before meeting the fishers :)

You gotta love the holidays: a special shout out to Mr Mac, what strength i have left i give to you in this your more deserving time of need.

Till the next part is over,
Paul

Christmas with the Fishers

2006-12-23T16:52:00.000+11:00

The mere thought of it sends bile to my tongue, hours of insufferable torment spent with beings that should never have been allowed to step foot on this earth. You are soon to learn that I don’t particularly like a certain section of my family, unfortunately for me you can’t choose your family so I’m stuck with them. I’m not too sure whether I’m going to be able to articulate the server dysfunction they as a collective group hold, but will endeavour none the less.

Every family has its kooks, so let me introduce you to mine. ‘The fishers’ – a rag tag bunch of social misfits connected to us through my mother. On last count I believe there were 6… although I’m sure I always miss one. They are the loudest most obnoxious people you will hopefully never meet. You know the kind; the ones in the restaurant that your mother will sigh at and say ‘just eat your food and ignore them’ whilst glaring at them every once in a while to show her distain.

The mother – A know all nurse who happens to have an opinion on anything and everything, even if she has been explicitly told to stay out of it. She tends to spend most of the Christmas evening in my mothers room, after being overpowered by a migraine. Although if I had children like that I suppose I would be bed ridden too. A control freak who can’t control her kids, go figure.

The father – One of those people that somehow constantly look grotty no matter what they are wearing; the kind of person that if you saw him on the street tying his shoes, you couldn’t help but drop some money. He is the most offensive person to eat with (well the whole of his family has acquired these traits, but he remains the worst). My mother would be cooking for about 20 people (yeah I know shocking), and silly enough for her she tried to cut down on the amount of effort she needed to go through with serving so she created a buffet. I think your starting to see the picture… I nearly lost a finger at the hands of that man.

Kate – (child one, 21) the eldest of the bunch, hmm the best way I can describe her is ‘a snobby little bitch with no money’. Just think the ‘Simple Life’ except the nightmare isn’t ending for her :) because the season is never over - it might seem cruel to an observer that I take pleasure in her misery, but believe me this is the only pleasure I derive from this family.

Steven – (child two, 20) just goes to show how much I like this one, I don’t even know if he spells it Steven or Stephen… His one of those giant bruits who doesn’t know his own strength, which is always great when they have a brain the size of a pee. Trust me his a complete space case, and will more than likely end up as a professional bouncer, as long as he doesn’t asphyxiate attempting to think.

Claire – (child three, 18) the poster child for contraception. God has made this one irregularly plump, and for good reason too. It has an acidic tongue that, like its mothers, never seems to stop wagging. I’ve been so close to slapping the shit out of it because of the vicious little things it says to its mother.

The other one – (child four, will fill in the name when I remember, 16ish) devils spurn! As childish as they get, one of those kids who always has to get their way, and if they don’t then they crack a fit. Have you ever seen a sixteen year old rolling around on the ground because she wants to leave? I can’t wait until the real world hits her and she grows up.

As I thought, I didn’t do them justice, mainly because I try to suppress all interaction I am forced to make with them. Perhaps ill have some more to add after Christmas.

Marry Christmas indeed

Till next we meet,
Paul

The old lady shuffle

2006-12-20T23:44:00.000+11:00

No no this isn’t going to be a post about my inability to dance, but rather my need of quick reflexes in the face of danger. It’s about that time of year again, Christmas… Joyful for some, yet rather inconvenient for others.

Don’t get me wrong I love the holidays, I don’t even mind the commercialism of it all. I mean money makes the world go around and Christmas is one of the biggest excuses for it. The thing I fear about this time of the year is Christmas parties.

My mother tends to host a multitude of parties for separate sects; old friends, gym friends, work friends ect.. And for some god forsaken reason she ‘HAS’ to have all of them here! I’m not too sure what you would consider fun, but believe me 20 or so old ladies placed in one setting with alcohol provided by a woman who sinks a bottle of white a night isn’t exactly an enjoyable experience. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the cackling, no amount of training can prepare you for that glass shattering noise that always seems to come when alcohol is added.

In the past I’ve been stupid enough to suffer through it, thinking some day I would build up a tolerance. But my efforts have been in vain, there effects are still as potent as ever making that evolutionary step that much more elusive. Luckily this year I have given myself enough time to evade two of these Christmas parties without incident or the use of my patented ‘old lady shuffle’. Other times I have not been so lucky.

The ‘old lady shuffle’ consists of me exiting the building with as minimal contact with the decrepit vermin, I mean my mothers friends, as possible. Tricks such as carrying things outside and simply not returning are genuinely key when surprised with such events. I say ‘surprised’ because mother has become sadistic, intentionally not telling me that one will soon be in progress, just to see me squirm.

But these are nothing in comparison with ‘the family Christmas get together’, for one I’m unable to leave… (a latter post), I shall leave you with a classic line taken from one of my ‘old lady shuffle’ experiences.

“I have to umm… go over there now”

Till next we meet,
Paul

No Bang - the birth of a catchphrase

2006-12-20T17:42:00.000+11:00

If television has taught us one thing it's that individuals with cleaver catchphrases tend to stay around for more seasons, as long as the rest of the show isn't complete tripe. Luckily enough this has nothing to do with whats going on.

I've always wanted to know how social phrases come to be, i mean who came up with using the word 'cool' as a substitute for good or ok? And how did it become so prolifically used? Well today you are witnessing history in the making, i am about to unleash my own stylings upon the catchphrase world. I'm not attempting to make a big deal about it, simply trying to avoid or rather sidestep some of the weirdness no doubt im going to encounter when it gets used for the first couple of times; explaining its meaning and the origin of its creation to every individual i happen to use it on.

Its conception was happened upon when Sarah Bell (a very nice, very talkative individual) caught the tailings of a convocation about me not going to 'Bang', a club that it seems i've been going to every week for quite some time. Hence when i said "no bang" she wouldn't have been able to understand the reference. She however took it a slightly different way, meaning no good, thus "No Bang" was established.

No Bang - 1. refers to a build up where the ending is not as dramatic as the hype suggested. 2. refers to something which is simply no good, lacking all the bells and whistles. 3. refers to something that would be inappropriate to be celebrated with fireworks or party poppers.

This is something i assume will die off soon, but i like it, so your going to have to suffer through it for a good few weeks to come.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Intolerable intolerance

2006-12-14T22:07:00.000+11:00

I'd like to say when the elder generation dies off the worst of our current racist society will be over, but hate and ignorance tends to breed hate, sullying the water so this notion is simply another fairy tail the offended tell themselves.

The conceptions of our fathers are only distinguished from our own by choice. Change needs a catalyst else the course remains steady. Some may believe that it is currently socially unacceptable to belittle another race, unfortunately theory is not always what prevails in practice and they would be very mistaken in this assumption.

We are the youth of the nation with the means to stamp out such trivial ideologies, yet remain powerless in our current divided state. War once brought the youths voices together echoing their contempt throughout the land. Our generation has faced its wars, yet we as a whole remained silent.

Our silence is deafening, society has desensitised us. Thus i fear there is nothing that can awaken our outrage. As long as intolerance is tolerated, as long as injustice is ignored, the plights of the nameless shall go unheard.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Wii personal update

2006-12-10T22:30:00.000+11:00

WARNING: The following blog may contain offensive material and has been proven in cases to lead the reader to become very jealous.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have purchased a Wii.

(Pauses for gasps and the shock of it all to settle in)

Are wii composed? Good then lets continue. I have been thinking about purchasing a “Wii” since Nintendo released the original proposed specs and capabilities for the revolution. That was until they offended the world by deciding to change the name to the ‘Wii’. Initially I despised the name, enough to blog about it:

“Wii can only hope: (29 April 2006 2:41 PM)

Dam Nintendo has screwed itself again..... As if our once beloved gaming system had not made enough bad choices (gamecube, need i say more). It’s like they have given up the race completely between Xbox and Playstation. Yes there new "revolutionary" system had specs and games lined up that would make any gaming enthusiast drool, everything seemed right in the world again. But then at the 12 hour Nintendo announces they have decided to change the name of the new system to...."Wii".

WHAT THE?

The childish humour must just be lost on me, Wii??? It seems the company has decided after investing an inconceivable amount into the development of this system and the restoration of its former glory, that it is no longer interested in making money. I mean seriously who ever came up with this bright idea should be shot at least twice for good measure.

Wii can only hope that this is some sort of messed up dream, and by E3 the creators will have come to their senses.”

But as time went by the name simply grew on me! So when the release came on the 7^th of December I started to seriously consider purchasing this console.

On the 9^th of December I was placed in a fight or flight situation when faced with hundreds of signs in what seemed like almost every shop advertising the console. I scam to my temptations and splurged, carelessly purchasing games and accessories. I never really was a strong person :) (Pun not intended)

And yet even after the serious beating my back account took I am still happy. The Wii is amazing, and it’s going to change the way we think of gaming! No longer will our youths become fat and lazy while sitting in front of the TV for hours playing games. The interaction is that intense that after a few rounds of boxing on ‘Wii sports’ I was sweaty and exhorted!

Of course the main reason why anyone would purchase a Wii is simply for Zelda, and yes yes it too has so far live up to the hype.

The controls are ingenious, no longer is game play and interaction confined to the standard controller. And the way they have allowed for extra peripherals to be added ensures they will be on the cutting edge of interactive experimentation.

(There isn't really an appropriate way to do this so: Alex, there your mentioned!)

Till next wii meet,
Paul

Aliens exist?

2006-12-02T15:58:00.000+11:00

Ah so it has come to this, the gospel must inform the sheep once again about the sad facts of life. Destroying the myths we all know are false and hopefully offending many demographics along the way.

I’ve always wondered who came up with that immortal image that we initially associate with an alien; Big black eyes positioned on an oversized cranium with thinned out features and a slender mouth. Silly boy forgot to copy write, and is now out millions as a result (I would have loved him to demand money from Spielberg for the use of ET). I assume it was a man because it was the 40’s when women where not classified as people.

I’ve read about the Roswell incident and the propaganda surrounding it. About the ‘lies’ we have been told and the conspiracies created as ‘the true’ alternative. See dale, if you had these people’s imaginations you would have written at least ONE book by now - “Hows that novel you’ve been working on?”

I love the religions that are preparing for their coming (and I don’t just mean Scientology; side note I have read L. Ron Hubbard’s dianetics, not that interesting… I liked battlefield earth better, why haven’t they made that one into a religion yet? It’s just not the same as being made into a movie), although to be fair I do know of a few other religions waiting for a return of a certain individual… 2006 years after his original birth.. hmm is he still coming?

Why do aliens always abduct some redneck hick? Why don’t you ever hear about normal people with (real) college degrees getting abducted? And don’t throw that shit at me saying “they only do that because this way people won’t believe they exist, they are protecting themselves” what are they afraid of, we might suspect they have weapons of mass destruction? – My rebuttal to people who use this argument: ‘Star Trek isn’t real get over it’.

People have an inept need to believe in things, they are afraid that life has no real meaning and by clinging onto notions such as ‘aliens’ allows them to cope.

Ghost writing is hard!

Till next we meet,
Paul

Road Runner Ruined

2006-11-20T17:40:00.000+11:00

Well i havent posted for a while, and its far too hot to come up with an appropriate topic now so this is going to have to be short and sweet. And i don't mean like Dakota Fanning, or do i...

I have briefly discussed the sudden absense of anvils with a very unimaginative individual (lucky for him he doesn't want to become a writer). Im currently wondering where they have all disappeared to? I mean there used to be at least one blacksmith in every village, each would have had atleaast one anvil for operation, so where could so many of them go. I suppose it is possible the acme corporation may have done a recall but still, mass amounts of steel that were created with the intention that they couldn't be melted down just disappearing...

Something to ponder till some real content appears here.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Conditioning

2006-11-08T17:03:00.000+11:00

I thought it might be appropriate for my gospels to include some proficies, i mean what kinda prophet would i be if i wasn't telling people how to live their lives? So this is my first!

- Your society shall condemn itself by erroneously accepting what should never be.

I have suggested in the past that people tend to go out of their way to ignore the strange. And to an extent i still hold strong to this although have conceded the severity has not reached the bounds of the negative spectrum (the valid rebuttal was quite persuasive).

Over time we have been 'conditioned'. Trained by society on how to act, react, perceive and judge. We have absorbed its ethics and morals and have accepted them as norms. To fit into our society one must go through a thought process, and just like ridding a bike, after a while you no longer consciously thing about it, but the process still remains. We evaluate a situation, apply both our set of values and morals and that of society. We then conclude with what is perceived as an appropriate course of action. The question that comes from this (I know you knew it was coming!) is, to what extent do they have on the creation of our own values?

It is often said that one is defined by the choices they make, but if an outcome is completely dependent upon a process, is the choice theirs to make? (I will probably discuss the notion of fate VS self fulfilling prophecies in a latter post)

************************************************************************************
Simply here to keep the regulars happy
************************************************************************************
As the SAW trilogy so eloquently stipulates:
What would you do when faced with life or pain? Could you play the game?

Till next we meet,
Paul

Loss of innocence

2006-11-06T00:45:00.000+11:00

I morn for the loss of simpler times, of an idealism were things were as clear cut as good and evil. When our eyes where closed to the cruelty of this world, and our minds only loosely focused on the happenings of the day. I have grown before my time, my youth stolen and discarded upon the floor, forced from my grip by the events of my past.

I often reflect upon my time before cynicism, before life was complicated, when a consequence was merely a word thrown around defying its very definition. We are forced to grow up too early these days. Imparting upon children the truths of humanity at younger and younger ages diminishes the time they have to develop a sense of self. Why can’t a child simply remain a child? Understandably wisdom does not come with age, but rather with an individual’s ability to separate themselves from their circumstance and objectively evaluate the situation. Still, there are things that can wait for years to pass.

The world has many faces, each one made by man and influenced by money, greed and power. I’m not saying that one should be oblivious to the sins on this world, but we should allow for a greater gestation period before exposing our youths and destroying the wonder of innocence.

The loss of innocence is something we must all go through, it is a right of passage where the blinkers of romantic ideals are removed and replaced with a cold sense of reality. Glorifications are realised, and disappointment shall always ensue. But the age at which this process takes place should not be at the time of babes.

Discovery is not always what it seems.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Robert Frost: One of the greats

2006-11-01T19:04:00.000+11:00

Poems by my favorite poet:

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

For more about Robert Frost click here.

Random facts of time gone by:

2006-10-30T22:47:00.000+11:00

Random facts of October: In no particular order...

- Bill Gates' house was designed using a Macintosh computer.

- Santas image was created by Coke.

- Business.com is currently the most expensive domain name sold for $7.5 million.

- The first condoms were made of linen.

- A peanut is not a nut. It is a legume.

- Karate actually originated in India, but was developed further in China.

- More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

- More than 6,000 people with pillow-related injuries check into U.S. emergency rooms every year!

- Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life.

- The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.

- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

- President George W. Bush and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner are cousins!

- The are six fictional characters that have stars on Hollywood's 'Walk of Fame'. Although half the others are just as fake...

- Gloucestershire airport in England used to blast Tina Turner songs on the runways to scare birds away. They had to stop because too many gay employees were making requests.

- TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

If not me, then who? If not now, then when?

2006-10-29T17:03:00.001+11:00

I was never one to make a stand. Sure I have strong opinions, but never enough outrage to liberally advocate a cause. Which is a shame because I feel I should believe in something. There has to be a message that I would feel compelled to voice, I am just yet to find it.

There are many groups at university I could join, but don’t simply because all they basically do is flap their chins. Nothing ever changes, things continue because the majority accepts it. And I don’t see how participating in some activist group activities that are only done to create an illusion of control for them, could really help the plights of others. Don’t get me wrong, when the activities are direct contact (eg: physically going and helping individuals on the streets, or giving back to the community) I can see the purpose. But rallies and discussion groups can only ever achieve very little, preaching to the converted just seems like an irrational waste of time. Obviously there point is to show strength of numbers, but this is irrelevant if the group in question holds no influential power.

I still hold faith in the system, it is not perfect, but is a system none the less. It is constantly changing and adapting based upon societies standards, and the sooner we condemn actions or practices the sooner the system catches up.

So here I am, a man without a cause.

To love and loose,

To live a loss,

To come to ones demise.

To make a stand,

To turn away,

The actions no surprise.

Till next we meet,
Paul

The verdict is in: (in retrospect to Blatant Misconceptions)

2006-10-23T12:14:00.000+10:00

I would like to say that I don’t judge people, but that would be a lie. I am constantly judging without self constraint. We all do it, whether subconsciously or deliberately; we analyse, process and create a verdict within moments of the catalyst.

I’m a much worse offender than most, ill go out of my way to judge people and tend to let them know about it. Some people have hobbies, but I was never into tennis.

So the good thing is I have judged you all, like god I have evaluated your worthiness and labelled you appropriately. My judgements can be cruel but are never off the mark, and when my perceptive mirror is reflected upon myself I’m sure you would not be surprised with how truthful my evaluations are.

I considered listing how I perceive myself, but thought better of it, wouldn’t want to influence your observations.

The world is a fish tank.

Till next we meet,
Paul

Blatant Misconceptions:

2006-10-23T12:10:00.000+10:00

How many times has your actions been misconstrued because someone has read too much into them?

I am constantly being misunderstood; I’m not a very complex creature. In fact it wouldn’t take much to summate me; a few poignant points about my numerous fascist and insurmountable flaws and where done.

There isn’t always an underlining reason for an action to take place, nor in some cases any reasoning what so ever. So why can’t people just accept things at face value?

Admittedly there are cases where I am acting with a slightly hidden agenda, not falsifying my intentions simply not divulging the entirety of my intent. This is why I get into trouble, simply because I have these moments doesn’t mean this is how I constantly act.

I will never tell you everything.

Till next we meet,
Paul

The night of the terrible two

2006-10-18T13:29:00.000+10:00

I thought you may wish to know about how serious my condition has gotten...

Ok fair enough I normally I’m pretty lazy with assignments but they seem to get done within the time limit pretty easily. This was of course before the night of the terrible two..

As I’ve alluded to in past posts I’m at uni doing a double degree involving information systems. The two IS units I do are programming (java) and database, which I’m pretty good at.

Both of these units had an assignment due last Friday, and I’m sure we had two weeks to do both, so logically I should have started them then. But I wasn’t going to let logic get in the way of things so I left them for a while. In the mean time I had to do another assignment for management which I despised, which took the majority of my concentration.

Long story short it’s Wednesday night and I realise I haven’t done either of them, so offcourse I tell myself that ill set tomorrow to do them both. I get to uni at 10am on Thursday, set myself up in a lab and start to procrastinate. Newayz its 6pm, programming is finished but I still have database to do. So time goes on… (btw the students from my whole course are there working on these assignments, apparently my condition is contagious).

Despite some major problems like the database server being down because too many people kept trying to access it, I got through. Although by this time is 12:30pm on Friday..

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for Paul, he turns around and tells you that then he needed to go to work from 3-9:30…

NEVER AGAIN!!! (But I can’t promise)

Living life in another skin

2006-10-10T00:02:00.000+10:00

I often catch myself changing my personality to an extent when interacting with different sets of people. It isn’t much deviation, but when multiple sets are being interacted with simultaneously I believe both them and I can see the differences.

I believe my personality has a basis, and when I interact with others different attributes and characteristics are added on. This can be explained by my comfort levels and what I perceive maybe too much for others. I am never fake, just different.

This can relate to hiding information, but also to the way in which you connect with each group. I don’t believe (for me personally) there is any dependence upon how dominate the other personalities are, simply because of the fact that I’m not able to conclusively state whether I increase or minimise my outgoingness as a result (other mitigating factors must play a crucial role).

Soon I shall make a conscious decision to express the whole me to every group, yet I don’t know how such an act will be performed considering my inability to truly recognise who I really am.

Who am I, if not me?

Till next we meet,

Paul

What’s logic got to do with it!

2006-10-09T22:49:00.000+10:00

There are certain situations/events in life where logic is simply thrown out the window. Not that I rely on logic for stability, but it is nice when you can see a basis for reasoning. Now these events are normally on a whim and will usually eventuate, if at all, with very minimal consequences in relation to the course of progression of your life. Yet still on reflection, feelings of stupidity seem just as painful as when first experienced.

There are a lot of different factors that effect ones logic; emotions, situations, people and to an extent life itself. There sadly is no remote control to ‘reverse’ such events and so we must accept/suppress these memories and move on.

I have many events that I mortally regret, these are common knowledge and became a great pass time for a section of my friends to bring up during one of there favourite games “Hey Paul, remember that time….”

- Softball

- Leep Frog

- Chair isn’t there

- 3D

- Balls (interesting choice of word; just imagine a montage of events where sport balls would hit me in the face, over and over and over again)

- ect…

Long story short, my high school life was merely a serious of unfortunate events, separated briefly by very little education. Which although topical and entertaining to others, has led me to the drink on more than one occasion.

Question: (Off the topic, but on the subject)

What’s the point of logic if it’s not logical?

Some people hold onto their notions of logic even when they know it’s no longer true. Just because they have had that concept for an extended period of time doesn’t give validity to its argument. – This person knows who they are and should change their point of view.

Till next we meet,

Paul

Word of Mouth

2006-10-09T16:35:00.000+10:00

Well I’m not all that surprised it has taken me a while to get back to you, the neglect is mainly caused by the incomprehensible amount of assignments that I just happened to put off for far too long ~ I didn’t get extensions even after I explained my condition (Lazieitis), stupid lectures! I should have just said I was an alcoholic.

"Have you heard...."

Have you ever really considered how powerful ‘word of mouth’ really is?

I’m sure we all remember the day Steve Irwin died; mainly because their not letting us forget (who they are is not important, for the moment…). Well I was in a lecture, and simultaneously around me five people got messages explaining what had happened (I felt sad I didn’t get one so my friend next to me forwarded it on, she is so nice lol).

This got me thinking, what sort of topics causes such an excessive use of the ‘word of mouth’? What would make YOU exert effort to tell another individual?

Till next we meet,

Paul

Food

2006-10-06T00:40:00.000+10:00

Just a quick question:

Why do we change the names of animals when they are prepared for consumption?

Cow = Beef
Pig = Pork
Sheep = Lamb

And why is chicken still 'chicken'? (or are they hens)

Prefect application due

2006-10-03T19:24:00.000+10:00

(Below is an extraction of what was sent to my principle when requesting the position of prefect, written in the year 2004)

Why I would like to become a prefect:

When I first contemplated about becoming a prefect I asked myself, what does the term prefect mean to me? I see a perfect as a passionate reliable individual who has leadership qualities, but also as a person who is responsible and in control. They must present themselves in a manner befitting their position and be able to persuade others to do the same. They must be approachable yet be able to command the respect of their peers. They must be meticulous in their actions and have strength and faith in themselves. But most all they have to have a dedicated desire to excel in everything they do. Once realizing this I had a look in the mirror. I imagined myself as a prefect and began to see these qualities in me. I see myself as the sort of person to which people respond well. I have a calm caring nature yet am able to control a situation with demanding authority.

I see becoming a prefect as a way of proving myself to not only my peers but also my teachers. I furthermore see this as a great opportunity to give back to the school for which I have taken so much. I wish to become a role model to the younger generations, a pinnacle to which they can aspire. I believe that becoming a prefect will not only help me grow as a leader but also as an individual. I thrive in stressful situations and acknowledge that compounded on the regular stresses of year twelve I will gain a multitude more as a result of being a prefect. I believe that I am ready to take on the extra reasonability’s of being a prefect and I hope that you will believe so too.

(There is more but it relates to my outside activities and where I wanted to go after high school)

What a crock of shit! The only reason I wanted to become a prefect was so I could get the gold braiding around my blazer (the irony is not lost on me). Hmm and I think I read the word ‘prefect’ too many times, although I may have just been trying to create a greater association between the word and myself…

I’d like to think I have some of these above mentioned qualities, although there are a choice few that would need to be added (I’m sure your thinking of some now). In case you were wondering I did become a prefect, house captain in fact. I went on to win the cup with my egotistical sidekick (me and Michelle what a team).

Till next we meet,

Paul

Successful regret

2006-10-03T15:57:00.000+10:00

Throughout our lives we have constantly been told that:
You need to get good grades to get a good enter,
You need a good enter to get into a good course,
You need a good course to get a good job,
You need a good job to have a good life,

And if at any point in this process you stuff up your going to die poor and lonely :(.

Understandably this is a very simplistic view upon the measurement of success, yet this is exactly what is driven into our heads all throughout high school. Although I logically understand that this is not the correct way to view the situation, I have based my life decisions upon this very conception. For without this conception, my life would have even less of a tangible direction.

As some of you may know I made the decision to commit myself to 4.5 year of study to complete a double degree in both business and information systems. This decision was made out of fear, petrified that a single degree would limit my options I opted for as broad a field as I could possibly make. Apart from the loss of an extra year and a half I do not regret this decision, nor the appropriateness of its formation. But on reflection it started to make me think about how many regrets I really have.

A regret is a horrible thing to hold, but inevitable none the less. We are constantly making decisions that can never be fully informed, mainly because life is not predictable. There are many mitigating factors that will effect any given decision that we make simply because of unforeseeable circumstances. The aim is to minimise your regrets and be mindful that there are real consequences to all our actions.

Life is the ultimate game, except its not as simple as rolling some dice. No one is ever prepared for it, and each time it’s played is never quite the same. The game can be deceptive, you can always tell when your winning, but never when your about to hit a wrong turn. The pieces are constantly moving so the game must go on, whether you wish to play or not. So take a deep breath and cross your fingers, because it’s your move.

A life with regret, is a regretful life

Till next we meet,
Paul

Life to me

2006-09-29T18:16:00.002+10:00

To live the life that others live,
To live my life a lie.
To live my life the way I live,
I live my life to die.

Like many adolescents life has been cruel, its perverted jokes and intolerable vindictiveness has pummelled my emotion psyche to the point where I was no longer strong enough to keep it at bay. Yet I should not weep for me. My story is nothing in comparison with that of the unheard plights of others.

Mass genocide of entire races still continues across the world, famine and disease ravage all corners of the earth, and still I felt sorry for me. Why?

Hindsight is always 20/20, but at that point in my life I couldn’t put what I was going through into perspective. It always felt like no one else would understand, as if my pain, and by association story, was unique. But through life I have grown and become wiser as a result.

I don’t fear death, but I do fear dying (clarification: dying is a process to which death is the conclusion. Pain is not involved in death it is simply the release). It’s this fear that keeps us alive, fear that keeps us sane.

Fear controls a lot of things; it limits our experiences by diminishing our faith within ourselves. This reduction in self ability festers, breading doubt, which tends to seep into other aspects of our lives. Fear is the reason why i originally felt this way about myself. The future is a scary prospect; its uncertainty is for lack of a better word unsettling. The scariest thing of all, is the inability to see yourself within a future. Life without a tangible purpose becomes meaningless, but the lack of purpose is not the catalyst, merely an outcome from a larger problem.

For now that’s all I wish for you to know.

Till next we meet,

Paul

Objective view

2006-09-29T10:39:00.000+10:00

I have had a debate recently whether a view could ever be objective, which of course it obviously can’t because no matter how many facts it is based upon it is still merely a perception biased by the viewer. But it got me thinking about the perceptions we have of others, and how well we really know people.

Humans are an amusing creature, we thrive on interaction and because of this we take certain measures to make sure our interaction with others continues. These measures often include time sacrificing tasks and withholding information.

People withhold information for many reasons, all of which eventually are designed to benefit them or the person with whom they are withholding the information. I am not classifying this as a bad thing; I myself do not divulge everything to all, but I am asking, do we withhold this information to create a perception we consciously desire or is it merely a copping mechanism as not to harm ourselves or others?

There are many things I do not wish to talk about, whether enforced by society’s standards or simply my unwillingness to open up. I myself have too many barriers, I defend my feelings with the use of sarcasm, yet this has not always been. It is something I have adapted to my personality which has now become its main focal point. I’m not sure whether I like this, it makes me seem unapproachable, yet at the time I believe that’s what its desired effect was.

One of my friends believes I analyse people too much, which I admittedly do, but not simply to evaluate whether an individual is worthy of my time, I have an inept desire to understand why they do the things they do and what catalysts initiate these things. By understanding to a certain extent I am able to foresee or extrapolate a basis for how they would react in other situations.

Secrets will always be kept, truths hidden and agendas disguised. This will never change, yet with all this hidden information and our current inabilities to detect how much is being withheld I ask you, how well can you ever really know a person?

Till next we meet,
Paul

Over-abused

2006-09-28T22:01:00.000+10:00

There are many things I hate in this world: escalators that don’t move, stupid people with no opinions, ignorant people with opinions ect… But went it comes to the over-abuse of words I just can’t stand it...

There are certain words that are thrown around too much to the point where they have become to lose their meaning. I reference these words as the big three (there are others but these are the main offenders and are the most likely ones you will run into):

1. Love

A touchy subject where anyone is involved. I believe love is an emotion that describes a euphoric state of being as a result from an external influence; it should only ever be said when meant and never to be applied to articles of clothing. Too many people associate the word love with their relationships because they feel it gives meaning to its existence and continuation. Love is allusive but most definitely real, using it with inappropriate referencing diminishes the effect that true love holds and tarnishes the validity of the current relationship.

2. Promise

The mere mention of the word makes me shiver, two syllables that holds enough power to bring a nation to its knees. The word promise has shifted from its original intention, once it meant something, now I’m not so sure. Broken promises scatter my life, they are a constant inevitability which I am afraid will never cease. An appeal to those of you who are reading, life is too short to promise the world.

3. Cute

I tire quickly of this word, like the others it has been abused to the point where its meaning has been stripped away, except it’s nearly at the point where it is soon to be abandoned. Paris Hilton is trying to replace it with ‘hot’ but its not going to happen you skanky cesspool.

The big three as told by me:

WARNING: ONLY USE IN MODERATION

Till next we meet,

Paul

Laziness and dreams

2006-09-28T18:08:00.000+10:00

I apologise for the original post, it was not one of my concoctions. A rude little boy whom will get his comeuppance very very soon has forced the responsibility of entertaining the masses upon me. Simply another duty I shall take in my stride.

I've decided to make my first (real) blog about my inability to complete things so you will have a deeper understanding of why it may take an extraordinary amount of time for new material to be posted (that’s Paul for you always thinking of others… lol by the way my name is Paul, now that that mystery is over with Nancy Drew can we continue with the current story). There was a prime example of my inability to keep on track, and my blatant disregard for a conceptual progression of thought.

It has always been this way, to the point where I’m contemplating whether I should finish this current blog. I know I’m not alone though, across our vast world there are others plagued by my dreaded disease ‘lazieitis’.

Lazieitis ~ a ravenous disease that plagues upon the effort of the willing, incapacitating there ability to perform a function for an extended period of time. Symptoms include: crankiness, loss of motor skills and mild rectal irritation

I’m astonished we haven’t formed a support group…

But there is hope for us all, a shining glimmer of light has broken forth from our depths of gloom, exceeding expectation as he rides a star to which we should all aspire. Abandoning reason and notions of self inadequacies his strength and courage of conviction to accomplish his dreams is something I shall always envy.

Mmm I kind of figured this would happen I’m finishing the post without really talking about what I initially wanted to… namely me. I guess there will be plenty of time for that later.

Till next we meet,

Paul

Hooray

2006-09-28T17:23:00.000+10:00

Exciting news! I'm starting my own blog! It will be full of insight and most likely many sarcastic comments/reviews on the things that (unfortunately for them) happen to come across my path.

This is your new must-read blog!

That is all *big brother voice*

Paul.